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WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

0 posted 2005-03-04 11:10 PM

This one isn't really up to par in my mind. But it's all I have to work with. I've had writer's block for quite a while now.

If I could paint you a picture
if I could tell you a story
I would fill it with such warmth
and tragic turns

but I know you’re not paying attention

I’ll give a crooked smile
as I look in the mirror
and realize
I looked better with those tears

I tried so hard
to give all that I could
but in the end
goodbye was the best thing I did

I’ll never make any promises
that I know can’t be fulfilled
it’s time to grow up,
time to cast off this shell

If I could paint you a picture
I would pour my heart into it
and use deep shades of grey
to convey my guilt

but I know you’re not looking

I’ll give a sad frown
as I look in the mirror
and realize
I never thought I looked good at all

if I could tell you a story
I would tell it with emphasis
to see if I could show you
just how it feels

but I know you’re not listening

if I could paint you a picture
I would use dark crimson
to express my heartache
and white for this consuming bleakness

if I could paint you a picture...

If I could fall asleep tonight
you know I’d dream of you
and wake up wondering
why my heart is so cold
~WinterWren~

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2005-03-05 11:25 AM

WinterWren this is such a well written poem, your words paint a picture of sorrow and despair, I just hope that whoever this is for starts to pay attention to your hurting.

Andrew

Stinky Twinkie
Member

since 2002-11-26

Posts 204
Dinwiddie

2 posted 2005-03-05 01:23 PM

I think this is an awesome poem. I really like the use of the colors (deep shades of grey, dark crimson) for some reason. I'm wierd maybe? haha. I liked this one.

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

3 posted 2005-03-05 01:50 PM

If this is writer's block, then I can't wait to see what you come up with when you are fully capable!!!
This is great!

In the wooden chair
Beside my window
I wear a face born in the falling rain

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

4 posted 2005-03-05 07:09 PM

I think this is the farthest thing from
writer's block. I found it amazing. So
rawfully truthful.

-Kelly

You play the song I know.
You are the song I know.

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

5 posted 2005-03-15 06:36 PM

if I could paint you a picture
I would use dark crimson
to express my heartache
and white for this consuming bleakness

if I could paint you a picture...

Loved the ending, very strong ending for a very good poem. The imagery was amazing. NOthing more to it, it was a great write. Awesome job!

Erin

AIM-blueyed angel940
She's a question without answers...

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

6 posted 2005-03-23 04:26 AM

hey,
this is a really creative and interesting post, honestly i could relate to it really well at this point in time. i always like that, thank you for sharing (and i mean that)

bergundy

good luck in the situation and keep writing

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

7 posted 2005-04-01 05:22 PM

Oh Wren, always thinking of your work as 'sub par,'
while this was anything but!  The imagery in this
was exquisite!  It may be a painting of dispair,
but it's so clearly defined and easy to see,
that it's impossible not to love this poem.

While you may burn this with the trash,
as is any writer's right,
I'll save a copy from the ash,
In hope's that you will see the light!

                                -Rich

"I am a part of the world that I hate/I wish the end would come faster, my world's a distaster," - Crossfade "Starless"

WindSong
Member

since 2002-12-23

Posts 313
Long Island, New York

8 posted 2005-04-07 09:59 AM

Whoa. I like this one a lot. I believe it most certainly HAS to be a strong favorite of your writings. It's got an immense amount of power.

I hope you do feel better soon enough. *hugs*

I'll talk to you later. Peace.

PS- also going into my library

<3 Kirah

"Stand still awhile and dream of the times when your heart felt full." ~Reina Nash~ R.I.P. 9*6*04 You'll always be remembered, I love you!

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