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tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

0 posted 2005-02-26 01:39 AM

Well this is a song I just wrote, I'm not too sure how good it is, it's late and I thought I'd try and see what you guys think! (yeah it's kinda long, sorry)

VS. 1
I'm left here now. I have nothing left to give,
trying to make it through the day, trying to live.
I can't take my eyes off you, every single step,
one step more, I've fallen, something I'll never forget.
(lead into chorus...)
Maybe it wasn't a mistake.
Just guaruntee that you'll wait.

CHORUS
You are....Out of reach, out of mind,
I keep falling, now i'm left behind.
You touch my soul, you take my breath,
you took my heart, now I have nothing left.
You've taken all of me...I can no longer pretend,
If I had the chance... I'd do it all over again.

VS. 2
I want to be the only one that makes you smile,
trying to fly, wanting to cry, not making it a mile.
I love you but I promise you I'm not ok being her,
If you love me, you'll love me as this girl.
(lead into chorus)
Maybe it's not a mistake.
I just hope it's not too late.

CHORUS
You are....Out of reach, out of mind,
I keep falling, now i'm left behind.
You touch my soul, you take my breath,
you took my heart, now I have nothing left.
You've taken all of me...I can no longer pretend,
If I had the chance... I'd do it all over again.

BRIDGE
You took so much of me, will it ever be enough for you?
As much as she can try, she'll never love you like I do.
Tell me, what do you see, when you see your future at a glance?
you have all of me, baby, let me prove I deserve a chance.

CHORUS
You are....Out of reach, out of mind,
I keep falling, now i'm left behind.
You touch my soul, you take my breath,
you took my heart, now I have nothing left.
You've taken all of me...I can no longer pretend,
If I had the chance... I'd do it all over again.

AIM-blueyed angel940
One day u'll ask which is more important,u or my life. I'll answer my life and u'll walk away never knowing u are my life.

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

1 posted 2005-02-26 09:49 AM

This is really well done!!

If you happen to have the melody for it, and can put it on tape, or some such, I would really be interested in hearing it.

In the wooden chair
Beside my window
I wear a face born in the falling rain

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2005-02-26 11:53 PM

Awesome song Erin. The chorus rocked! I could like actually hear like a girl rock band singing it.

~Alli~

*AIM = Alli4000* Journal!

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