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Teen Poetry #7
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Smoothy
Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119
The dark side of the moon

0 posted 2005-02-14 03:54 AM



Welcome to the most depressing day in the world,
Happiness for everyone but you,
Your candy hearts say Eat Me,
Your broken heart's still bleeding,
And there's nothing but the smiles of others around you,
The red fades to black,
And the sun freezes,
Welcome to the Valentine's Day Massacre,
The killing of so many hearts,
As they bleed to death in all of us,

Rebel of the sacred heart

© Copyright 2005 Bryan Nascak - All Rights Reserved
Smoothy
Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119
The dark side of the moon
1 posted 2005-02-14 03:57 AM


I really can't justify calling this any form of verse. It was just me venting my ideas, my frustrations, my pain, and my growing dread of the day ahead of me.

Happy Valentine's Day to those who will have one. As for me, I don't do happy on Valentine's Day.

Rebel of the sacred heart

Smoothy
Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119
The dark side of the moon
2 posted 2005-02-14 04:00 AM


One last thing, my sincerest apologies to everyone who reads this.

Rebel of the sacred heart

aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia
3 posted 2005-02-14 08:51 AM


i like this mainly because i feel the same way as you about valentines day....
but aside from that its a good vent and vents are usually the best poems i read because they are raw and full of emotion...
well written
Ruth
P.S.
happy valentines anyway, everyone deserves to have one at some stage.

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
4 posted 2005-02-14 11:48 AM


valentines day is clearly the stupidest holiday. one day to show love. why one day that every does it? I might just be envious. it just feels fake to me though. I liked what you wrote.
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
5 posted 2005-02-16 11:34 AM


Why would you apologize to us for reading this? This is one of the best vents I've ever read. I love this alot. I can relate. I think the first four lines were my favorite.
Excellent job! This is going in my library.

If I could fall asleep tonight
you know I’d dream of you
and wake up wondering
why my heart is so cold
~WinterWren~

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
6 posted 2005-02-16 03:50 PM


I liked this, but I don't think you should've used that title because there's a Good Charlotte song called exactly the same thing....

"Cuz I'm broken, when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away..."~ Seether

"I shut my eyes and hold my cries to myself"~ Taproot

Smoothy
Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119
The dark side of the moon
7 posted 2005-02-16 07:57 PM


Stephanie- I apologized because I thought that it might offend someone who actually enjoys Valentines Day. I also have low self-esteem

Spine Grinder- It was either that or Bleeding Hearts Valentine. I didn't know Good Charlotte had a song with that name, I don't listen to their music.

Rebel of the sacred heart

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
8 posted 2005-03-02 04:11 PM


Smoothy I don’t think that you could be anymore wrong this is most definitely some form of verse. It’s also the sort of verse that I most enjoy it is very honestly and well written, unpretentious and a most enjoyable read.

Andrew

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
9 posted 2005-03-03 12:19 PM


Hey Bryan.  If it makes you feel any better about it, I didn't have much of a valentine's day either, man.  I share these sentements with right there with ya.  Peace man.  


                              -Rich

"I am a part of the world that I hate/I wish the end would come faster, my world's a distaster," - Crossfade "Starless"

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
10 posted 2005-03-04 12:30 PM


Omg. Awesome write! I can tell you that I am one of those people that hates Valentine's Day too. ^_^

~Alli~

*AIM = Alli4000*    Journal!

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