True Love (some cures words used)

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Gottigirl505
New Member

since 2006-02-06

Posts 4
New Mexico, Us

0 posted 2006-02-08 07:02 PM

True Love, That's what you called it,
I didn't think it was even a little bit.
They called me a slut,
They called me a whore.
When i asked you to stand up for me,
You just walked out the door.

So your old enough to lie,
Your old enough to cheat.
Your man enough to cry,
But mad enough to beat.

Well i'm old enough to leave,
Old enough to know.
When it comes to true love,
Boy, you just say no.

So take your lies,
take Your tears.
Cause there not to be heard
by these ears.

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

1 posted 2006-02-09 01:32 AM

Howzit???
NICE poem here TOTALLY understand ya!
x0x0
Free_Spirit07

Gottigirl505
New Member

since 2006-02-06

Posts 4
New Mexico, Us

2 posted 2006-02-09 01:25 PM

Thanks...I wrote this right after me an my boyfriend broke up.

XxnoraxX
Member

since 2006-01-24

Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3

3 posted 2006-02-10 09:58 PM

WOW!!! this is great- it sounds like a rap in a way-

XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

4 posted 2006-03-08 09:06 PM

i agree . its aawsome! can totallly relate

           Jessica

    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

5 posted 2006-03-08 09:17 PM

Hey,

Just wanted to say a couple things about your poem…

One of them is it doesn’t always rhyme, you notice? I’m not sure if you were going for the rhyming effect or not.
Something that really helps you out is saying the poem out loud to yourself, it helps make sure the flow is good, there’s rhyme, and it’s not stiff in parts.

Also this line

“Well i'm old enough to leave,
Old enough to know.
When it comes to true love,
Boy, you just say no.”

I’m not sure I would have put the “boy” in there.

Other than that, good job!

Keep writing

P.S. Wow! i really am being a gloomy gus about everyones poems, i apologize. Sometimes i get a little carried away trying to point out faults and not add the good things. If this insults anyone double apology, i will try to mend my ways!