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peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

0 posted 2005-01-07 11:01 AM

Hey I haven't posted anything because, well...I haven't written in SO long! This is the first thing that came to me a few days ago, so let me know what ya think. I was kinda shy as to post this because this is the type of writing I wouldn't normally post. Tell me what you think of the title too. Thanks!

Maybe it's not meant to be. Could possibly just be a clay mold handed so well its appearance is deceiving. A smile shining as if her teeth were diamonds. Such a disguise to mask reality with. Never missing a step but always falling, it doesn't seem to cease. Everyone knows that she's dying inside yet the pain is far too intense to truly reveal. The ignorant may doubt her decision. While she has already learned what was never meant to be.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return" -Moulin Rouge

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2005-01-07 03:01 PM

this is really really good, but somehow feels 'unfinished' to me. But then when it reads like a story unfolding..I always want more

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2005-01-07 06:38 PM

So glad to see you posting again Jessica!

I like this very much, but it seems kind of short...like it ended too suddenly (like sea said).
Great write! Keep posting and repling!

~Alli~

Happy 2005!

Jezzika
Member

since 2005-01-05

Posts 154
work

3 posted 2005-01-07 06:51 PM

"The ignorant may doubt her decision. While she has already learned what was never meant to be."

This was my favorite part. I really liked the whole thing!!

Awesome poem

Jezzika

you know he really wants me

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

4 posted 2005-01-07 06:55 PM

I Love this sooo much! I like the style. And my favorite line was "Never missing a step but always falling". Wow. I can really relate to this.
Great job!

If I could fall asleep tonight
you know I’d dream of you
and wake up wondering
why my heart is so cold
~WinterWren~

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

5 posted 2005-01-07 09:34 PM

"A smile shining as if her teeth were diamonds. Such a disguise to mask reality with."

gah... such creativeness... i love it

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