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Teen Poetry #7
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~DreamChild~
Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544
in your dreams

0 posted 2004-12-04 12:07 PM


tis only a game
playing on for sheer delight.

is not vanity indeed in vain?

tis only a pen.
inking merely make-believe.

why is there fiction at all?

tis only a heart.
beating on cold cage bars.

does freedom truly exist?


© Copyright 2004 derrick gillum - All Rights Reserved
red_angel*16
Member
since 2004-09-04
Posts 71

1 posted 2004-12-04 04:40 AM


I wonder why not alot of people
postedv a comment or something.
well, dreamchild great write !!!!

always and truly
          christine

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
2 posted 2004-12-04 11:00 PM


This deserves more replies! Come on people.
Very beautiful write, I especially love the line, "Tis only a heart, beating on cold cage bars."
Great work,
thanks for sharing.

But Im comforted
by the fact that I can hurt inside
all I want to
without anyone ever knowing
~WinterWren~

~DreamChild~
Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544
in your dreams
3 posted 2004-12-04 11:04 PM


gee, thanks wren.
HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
4 posted 2004-12-05 11:00 PM


I daresay I'll reply to this, if only to bask in the afterglow of the work of a poetic genius.  I'm always so hesitant to reply to your work; afraid the uncultured tones of my verse might forever sully the pages of these poems.  However, fear is not a good reason for avoidance, and thus, I enter, as a young child might a grand cathedral: whisper quiet and full of awe as he tiptoes through the door.  Such wonderful pieces you write!  Just thought you'd like to know.


                                 -Rich

Winamp Is Playing:
"Give Me More"
Apartment 26
Music For The Massive


"I'm burning in the heavens,
and I'm drowning in a hell.
And my soul is in a coma
and none of my friends can tell,"
  ~Take Me~ Papa Roach

~DreamChild~
Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544
in your dreams
5 posted 2004-12-06 01:44 PM


gee, thanks rich. i'm truly flattered.

blushing, again.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
6 posted 2004-12-06 06:17 PM


I'm guessing this is about...yeh.

"tis only a game
playing on for sheer delight."

"tis only a pen.
inking merely make-believe."


The point of this all Derrick, is that you never mentioned anywhere that this whole thing was just a game...I mean, I'm not trying to get myself involved or start anything, but you never said it, and may have hurt someone in the process.  That's all I have to say.
Other than that...if I didn't know what this poem was talking about, I would think it was a very good write.

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

~DreamChild~
Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544
in your dreams
7 posted 2004-12-07 10:34 PM


point taken alli.
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