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red_angel*16
Member

since 2004-09-04

Posts 71

0 posted 2004-10-31 05:17 AM

wat am I supposed to think
who should i believe?
do you really luv me
or is it just a game?
I've been hurt so much in the past
that I dont Know what to do
should i just let everyting go
or tell you the truth ?
there's to much pain in my heart
losing you is da last thing i want to do,
all those things i hear about you
i dont want them to be true
but maybe if you were honest
then maybe everything would be okay...

WranglrButts9
Member

since 2004-10-24

Posts 108
Iowa, US

1 posted 2004-10-31 04:10 PM

Wow, this was really good! I can really relate. Cuz this guy that I really like, and I thought he liked me (we had held hands and a couple other things) well, while I was at his house (I'm friends with his sister) he asked this girl out. It just really bugged me.

But last night I stayed there cuz he had a party, and I was pretendin to be asleep while him and his guy friends talked. And the girl he's goin out with still isn't over her ex- she's a *beep* and its really bugging Jon, so he might break up with her. Then one of his buddies told him that she was thinking of doing the same thing. So yeah, I might have a chance after all.

But I doubt you want to hear about my sad love life. Lol.

Nice write though!
Bailey

Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

red_angel*16
Member

since 2004-09-04

Posts 71

2 posted 2004-11-03 04:29 AM

Thanks 4 your reply Bailey,
ummmm...i wrote this because there was this guy that I was going out with,and alot of people comes up to me and asks me if I'm still going out with him, then they tell me he's cheating on me.
well thanks for your reply !!!!

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

3 posted 2004-11-03 04:29 PM

Liked your poem...I can relate.

Just some constructive critism for you: There are some spelling errors that I would go back and fix. Also, JMO, but I when you write a poem I wouldn't suggest using for example "wat" instead of "what" and "da" instead of "the". In my opinion it just takes away from the experience of reading the poem.

That's just my opinion...other than the things I mentioned, I liked your poem alot and I can relate so much.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

4 posted 2004-11-13 08:55 PM

sooooo cliche... lol

~Express Yourself~

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