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Teen Poetry #7
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Sweetest Sorrow X
Member
since 2004-01-19
Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

0 posted 2004-10-16 11:59 AM


This is wrote from a boys perspective..even though i am..a Girl. haha.

Knock knock knock.

Knock knock

Knock.


I stood there feeling quite disappointed.

My flowers still perked up all proud and ready, their red and yellows waiting for her face.

Even as they fell onto the porch they looked hopeful.

Ready to impress.


The hands on my watch ticked and  ticked.

I didn't see the point in going to the dance.

My clothes crumpled and even my outfit looked defeated.

The hands on my watch spun and you and your date danced smiling.

Spun as you lay drunkenly on the floor.

Some random headlights came down the road.

The loud crunching of gravel  as they turned into the drive.

You stepped out.

Your dress was all turned around and the buttons were all amiss and everything was obvious.

I looked up at you with eyes glazed over.

The words just hung in my throat, worthless.

You looked down on my and even your body smelled like something gone wrong.

"What are you still doing here?"

What a perfect sentence to break the sudden subtle sad silence her presense had made.

I looked at my watch and got up, with nothing left to say.

I believe that lovers should be tied together and thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather and left there to drownin their innocence

© Copyright 2004 Sweetest Sorrow X - All Rights Reserved
*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
1 posted 2004-10-17 12:14 PM


Woah...awesome poem...i gotta hand it to you, your poems are still amazing even from a guys point of view.


~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
2 posted 2004-10-25 04:51 PM


This made me sad.
but I loved it.

branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
3 posted 2004-10-25 05:17 PM


Great write. A few off points but wonderful writting. I want you to keep this up it is rather wonderful and you have a great talent.
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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » ..I made you close your eyes. And you know what was coming.

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