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Teen Poetry #7
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kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special

0 posted 2004-10-03 03:47 PM



My body shakes
Mt lips tremble.
My world, destroyed.
Its just that simple.

I did it to myself.
No one else to blame.
Not even a tear drop of hope.
Nothing will ever be the same.

It's finally setting in.
and im starting to slowly fall.
The pain is too much.
I am going through withdrawal.

But like i always do,
i play my "pretend" game.
I act like nothing happened.
That everything's the same.

( i am definetly not finished with this, but this is what i have so far. Any comments would be appreciated.)

Karissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

© Copyright 2004 Karissa - All Rights Reserved
*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
1 posted 2004-10-03 06:23 PM


Hey Karissa! Wow...I loved this poem, just like all your others..lol...
This was my favorite part:

"My body shakes
Mt lips tremble.
My world, destroyed.
Its just that simple."


I'm going to add this to my library.
But hurry up and write the rest because I simply cannot wait to read it!

~Alli~


*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world
2 posted 2004-10-04 11:16 PM


wow loved this, my favorite part was:

I did it to myself.
No one else to blame.
Not even a tear drop of hope.
Nothing will ever be the same.

it might not be finished but it's a dang good start! wow awesome job already!

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
3 posted 2004-10-05 05:32 PM


Thanks..i love it that you love it..

Its not finished yet, but im not really sure what to write anymore. I dunno, ill figure it out.

Karissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia
4 posted 2004-10-07 07:15 AM


this is great karissa..
i love it...
when you finish let me know... yuo have me in suspense.
Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
5 posted 2004-10-07 11:40 AM


I, too, like the first stanza the best.

looking forward to more

Christioned
Member
since 2004-01-15
Posts 93
Huddling in the dark
6 posted 2004-10-07 06:12 PM


I honestly liked this. Right now it actually struck home a lot on some things...

Good job. Keep writing. I love to read your poems
      Andi

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