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red_angel*16
Member

since 2004-09-04

Posts 71

0 posted 2004-09-19 04:50 AM

(I wrote this poem about my crush
so please give me a comment !!! )

The perfect guy would make me laugh
The perfect guy won't make me cry
The perfect guy would love me til the end
The perfect guy would be sweet
The perfect guy would be true to me
The perfect guy would hold my hand
The perfect guy wont cheat on me
The perfect guy would always be with me
The perfect guy would kiss me likes he means it
The perfect guy would never leave me
The perfect guy would be cute
The perfect guy I'm talking about is you !!!

dodge_chick2003
Member

since 2004-01-18

Posts 136
California

1 posted 2004-09-19 12:42 PM

I thought your intention was good but it sounded like you were making a list of what you want. But this time I like the ending!!

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2004-09-19 11:33 PM

I like it, and I think that everyone can relate to this on some level of what they want in a guy.
My only suggestion would be to make it rhyme, or maybe make it flow better. Without the rhyming or flowing, it sounds like what Dodge_chick said, a list.
But overall I like it alot.

And I do like the ending as well.

Btw...it is going into my library.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

thinktwice
Member

since 2003-12-23

Posts 125
United States

3 posted 2004-09-20 12:18 PM

the perfect guy is a nice thought. i know for me the perfect is a nice thought. i don't believe she exists though. people's faults are what make them human.

thinktwice
Member

since 2003-12-23

Posts 125
United States

4 posted 2004-09-20 12:19 PM

i ly pressed submit.....i did like the poem for it's innocence and purity.

red_angel*16
Member

since 2004-09-04

Posts 71

5 posted 2004-09-21 05:22 AM

hey guys thanks for your replys
they really means alot to me !!!

davidmerriman
Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 123
Dallas, TX

6 posted 2004-09-21 03:44 PM

haha funny poem

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

7 posted 2004-09-21 08:01 PM

gah what a great poem! and how lucky you are for findint the perfect guy!

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