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Teen Poetry #7
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One_Love
New Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 3


0 posted 2004-09-05 12:50 PM



One last cry, Heart burned in flames,
memories of a love, and all it caused was
pain. Night after night longing in her
heart. A feeling so strong yet burning from
the start. The night left so cold with no
one to hold. Memories linger with no lack
of control. She looses her patience, her
mind, her heart. Walking away, with her
life torn apart. She looks back once more,
with a vision of the past. A voice
whispered "you knew it couldn't last!"
Facing the truth was the least to expect.
Erasing her past from wrong to correct.
Baring the facts the love wont return. And
from all her mistakes she now came to
learn. Love doesn't hurt nor love does it
lie. She closes the door and says her
good-bye! One last cry, Heart burned in
flames, memories of a love, and all it caused was pain.


© Copyright 2004 One_Love - All Rights Reserved
Match
Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286
Canada Edmonton
1 posted 2004-09-05 01:30 AM


Hi! Hmmm what to say about this poem,
The way it flowed was good, but I think you could have used different format.That mightve made a difference.. Mmm keep up the good work

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2004-09-05 12:41 PM


Welcome to Pip!
I understood this, but I sure hope you are healing. Love that doesn't last, was meant to teach you something. In time, you will know what the lesson was, and no, it wasn't just about pain.
Please check your email for a special greeting!

dodge_chick2003
Member
since 2004-01-18
Posts 136
California
3 posted 2004-09-05 12:50 PM


Desspite what every one else says I really like this poem. You can tell that it comes from the heart. Keep posting

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
4 posted 2004-09-05 01:10 PM


Wow...like dodge_chick said, this poem came from the heart, and poems from the heart are my favorite.
It was an amazing poem...

Also, welcome to Passions!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
5 posted 2004-09-05 02:41 PM


They are all right is some aspect.

i am going through something like this at the moment, and Although it hurts, i also remember the good times we had, and i know that it wasnt a waste of time, or love. It took me awhile to realize it, but i did, and hopefully you will too.

Amaizing write though. I realy loved it.
And Welcome to passions.

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world
6 posted 2004-09-06 01:54 PM


Yeah I'm going through this too,(hehe we should have a support group?) and I loved how you put it in words. Awesome job and welcome to passions!

Love is giving him the ability to break your heart...but trusting him enough to know he won't.

aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia
7 posted 2004-09-07 07:18 AM


this is beautiful.... i too know the feelings....i hope your heart heals and you move on....
keep up the writing.
Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
8 posted 2004-09-07 01:31 PM


This is very powerful. It seems like I have had this happen to me so many times. Welcome to Passions!

~sky

So you go and make it happen
Do your best, just keep on laughing
It's all on you, there's always a brand new day. -Avril Lavigne

AtLsHawTy17
Member
since 2004-09-07
Posts 60
IL,
9 posted 2004-09-07 06:02 PM


wow i like this poem, it made me sit back and remember what went through with my ex, you expressed yourself truely well. it is really good
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