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TheGirlNoOneKnew
Member

since 2003-12-04

Posts 92
PA, USA

0 posted 2004-08-15 05:59 PM

The sunset is fading, love
it's time to go inside
back to our happy home
where we live our happy lives.

But we lie, we lie to another another
when we say, when we say we care about eachother.

The summer heat is dieing out,
it's time to prepare for the cold
take my hand, why don't you?
it's the only thing left to hold.

And I wonder, I wonder why
you and I can never see eye to eye.

When our dreams used to be combined
and now are planned in opposite directions
when I used to be your one and only
and never had to vy for your attention.

What happened to those days, do you know?
is it time now, is it time to finally let go?

I'm not ready, maybe I don't want to
but is this still worth fighting for?
because you and I are no longer happy
there's no use denying it anymore.

But we keep lieing, we keep lieing to one another
when we say, we still care about eachother.

Close your eyes, you don't have to speak
for we know how this is going to end
the sunset is now fading in the distance
and I don't think it's going to rise again.

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

1 posted 2004-08-15 11:33 PM

Wow-this was very good. It flowed really, really well. I liked several parts of your wording. I'm suprised no one has replied yet. Well done!

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

aussie teen
Member

since 2003-09-27

Posts 396
Australia

2 posted 2004-08-16 06:35 AM

this is basically what im going thru right now worded perfectly aside from the fact i still care for him.....

you have written this perfectly and it is a beautiful poem. having the repition in a couple of parts really makes this piece shine and stand out.

keep writing like this. hope to read more from you
Mel

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

3 posted 2004-08-16 03:40 PM

Perfect ending, the last stanza set this poem off. The whole poem was great. Good job! ~Jess

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

4 posted 2004-08-28 03:53 PM

Although there were several spelling errors in this poem that I think you should fix....it was still great! I loved it!!

Just a quick question...what did you mean by the word "vy" in the 5th stanza?

Overall, great job! This poem was awesome! Keep Writing!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

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