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Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

0 posted 2004-07-25 11:27 PM

I've finally found...
My way back upon the rickety ladder,
Once again to wave those rusty handcuffs,
God, I hate this,
When I'm forced to take my sidearm,
And gently blow bad memories out of my head,
I can finally hear again.
Sounds good...

I've finally found...
This which I haven't been lacking,
But forgot that I ever had.
Not out of reach anymore,
I embrace the love of another,
I file back resentment,
And choke down jealousy,
I can finally love again,
It's kinda warm and fuzzy...

I've finally found...
A way to wash the old away,
To find a new open mind,
And wear it on my sleeve,
As I 180 with a completely new step,
Stomp out the negativity,
That once claimed my life for it's own.
I can finally feel again,
And It still hurts sometimes...

I've finally found...
This free verse expression,
After 20 cold months,
I have less insparation now,
I guess that it's true what they say,
You must suffer to create good art.
I am finally not suffering,
And I've never been more alive.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2004-07-25 11:35 PM

I did like this...
I thought it could have flowed better in some parts, but towards the end was nice. Pain does bring inspiration, but happiness feels so much better

I left my wallet in El Segundo...
And I gotta get it
I got got to get it!

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2004-08-02 08:31 PM

Sam, I liked this poem alot too. I'd have to say that my favorite lines were:

"I've finally found...
A way to wash the old away,"

Great poem...keep posting!

~Alli~

I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughter would make me cry.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

3 posted 2004-08-03 05:56 PM

this was pretty good. the first stanza was the best in my opinion. you had much more imagery and such in it. better work than the last one i read. keep posting

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

4 posted 2004-08-04 10:40 AM

My favorite lines...

"I file back resentment,
And choke down jealousy"

"I guess that it's true what they say,
You must suffer to create good art."

I was going to say which stanza I like the best but I like all the same! This poem was great. Like dopey dope said...pain does bring inspiration, at least in my eyes. Great work, this one is going in my library! ~Jess

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

5 posted 2004-08-04 08:03 PM

Yes, i agree with everyone here. For me, pain inspires most of my poetry. In fact, thats usually the only time i find myself able to write, atleast able to write anything good...

Great poem...I love freeverse. You can say a whole lot more, and you dont have to worry about rhyming, just about getting your feelings out..

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

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