Jack Daniels: Friend Or Foe?

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Teen Poetry #7

Jack Daniels: Friend Or Foe?

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

0 posted 2004-07-14 01:48 AM

This is a repost from a LONG time ago. In my opinion, it kinda got looked over, I think it was one of my better ones on a pretty interesting topic. Ah well, maybe I'm being conceited? Let me know what you think.

JACK DANIELS: FRIEND OR FOE?

They all thought she was happy
But the alcohol told lies
She found joy inside the bottle
Jack Daniels made her feel loved
Though she said her life was perfect
Each day was spent in pain
Lost her life to that bottle...
By Jack Daniels she was slain

- C.K. Natland -

Nobody Is Perfect Until You Fall In Love With Them.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

1 posted 2004-07-14 09:14 AM

interesting thoughts. the form was really sketchy, in fact the for was almost nonexistant. i would find some type of rhyming pattern or get rid of the rhyme at the end. this is too short and simple for it too have any real "wow" effect. the message is too straight forward. but then again i enjoy poetry that you have to think about in order to get the meaning. in all it wasn't a bad effort. sorry if i sound harsh at all.

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

2 posted 2004-07-17 01:53 AM

Ahh that JD *shudders* Nice

http://www.nexopia.com/profile.php?uid=34810 <--all me baby!

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

3 posted 2004-07-19 01:55 AM

kool kool. I liked it. The topic was interesting. I thought it was different. and i like it.

kissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

4 posted 2004-12-26 11:40 PM

I like this.....

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

WranglrButts9
Member

since 2004-10-24

Posts 108
Iowa, US

5 posted 2004-12-27 11:18 PM

This was pretty good. The rhyming wasn't great, but maybe it wasn't supposed to... Both my parents drink, and my dad's fav. happens to be Jack. He's not an alchohlic by any means, but I know where you're coming from!

Bailey

Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

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