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Teen Poetry #7
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CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

0 posted 2004-07-11 02:36 PM



Wow.  I haven't posted here in quite a while, I really miss it.  I've had writers block since last November and it's very frustrating...  I'm still struggling with it, and this one really isn't good at all, but it's the best I've written lately.  It's about when I went to a church barbeque and to watch fireworks at a church like 215 miles away where I have some friends and I know the pastor and stuff.  I had no idea who would be there...  I ended up having an amazing time, and I don't think it could have been any better.  Let me know what you think, please


RAMBLINGS OF A SEARCHING SOUL

It seemed too perfect already...
    Two-hundred-fifteen miles from home
    Just for a barbeque and foreworks
    A strange new place and I didn't get lost
But wait!  It gets better.
    There she sat...
    The girl I was hoping to see
    But really I had no idea if she'd show
The talking, the laughter, the cathing up
    Good food, I think
    But honestly, I wasn't paying attention
    - To the food, that is.
Sharing a blanket
Sitting close, momentary bliss
    Despite the other two on the blanket
Dark night, fireworks
    The night's tranquility...  interrupted
    By spontaneous firework explosions
    Both figuratively inside of me
        (In my heart, between us)
    And in the night's rain-threatened sky
Not knowing, yet
What feelings she holds
Locked within her...
    But seeing deep inside her mysterious eyes
    That yes, she holds a place for me.

- C.K. Natland -

Nobody Is Perfect Until You Fall In Love With Them.

© Copyright 2004 C.K.N. - All Rights Reserved
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
1 posted 2004-07-11 09:34 PM


aawwww...
I liked it.
you should post. Even if you don't like it, you never know who will.

BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
2 posted 2004-07-11 10:44 PM


I really like this. I wish you the best of luck with this girl.
Jen

"The course of true love never did run smooth." -William Shakespeare

Stepharoo
Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 149
Washington, USA
3 posted 2004-07-13 08:44 PM


Awww how cute. I love it!
Keep posting.

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
4 posted 2004-08-04 07:22 PM


sigh....such a hopeless romantic...like me!! Very well done I really liked the flow of the poem and the feelings behind the words.
~Live and Laugh~

Don't look to me for perfection for I will surely let you down.
~Bella~

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
5 posted 2004-08-21 11:27 PM


Wow. I definatly agree with Lexy.  You say that you didn't like this poem, but I sure did!
Anyways, I found some spelling errors in it such as "cathing-catching" and "foreworks-fireworks", but other than that, I absolutley loved this poem!

~Alli~

I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughter would make me cry.

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