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Teen Poetry #7
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Everyday Rain
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Everyday Rain |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Everyday my mind says, They HATE you! They don’t care for you! They don’t want you! They never did… My mind is the instigator. It starts the cloud of rain, That never ends, And only causes more pain. Because everyone knows, That I don’t already have enough. They all left you behind! They don’t LOVE you! They never listen to you! You’re not beautiful, they lied! They always lie… You’re pathetic. Look. Now you cry. CRY! See what they took? Just your innocence… Nothing too important. They love screaming at you! Just give up already! There is no escape for you! Not even sleep will save you! You don’t deserve to be saved…. The cloud’s always there… The tears always drop… Like everyday rain they keep falling….. In my lake of despair…I drown…. Look at what you’ve done…. Me? No No, I’m not to blame! You’re the one that cried! CRIED! How dare you…. SRW~2004 It's been awhile,since I've seen the way, the candles light your face. It's been a while, but I can still remember just the way you taste! ~StainD |
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| © Copyright 2004 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey, this one was sad but good...i used to feel like this, but my idea was funk everyone else...as long as i love me, who gives a damn. i know that sounds selfish, but it's all the advice i can think of. good points of the poem: relateable, lots of ppl feel this way. the bad was it was mad long and sometimes sounded kinda whiny (no offense, i do it myself constantly) keep writing bergundy "Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man) |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
It wasn't meant to sound whiney, it was meant to sound sarcastic, really really sarcastic, because that's how I felt when I wrote it. It's been awhile,since I've seen the way, the candles light your face. It's been a while, but I can still remember just the way you taste! ~StainD |
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