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aRiEsAnGeL
Member

since 2004-03-04

Posts 53
Florida

0 posted 2004-06-17 09:19 PM

The water was calm as far as I could see
The birds swooped just above the water so happily
I watched everything and wondered of why I couldnt be calm and happy and why I needed death in my life so badly
The water seemed to get angry
It splashed upon the rocks
as if it were trying to get me
trying to seek the sadness within me
telling me it could take my pain away
The birds began to fly high instead of close to the water
feeling the tension between the water and I
The anger of it not being able to take my pain away and it wondering of the reason I left

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2004-06-18 03:50 PM

that's sad

I wish you could be happy
but you and I are the same way
and I do understand

love you,
mom

blackandwhitehorizon
Member

since 2003-05-05

Posts 183
an akward state of mind

2 posted 2004-06-18 10:39 PM

i like this poem

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

3 posted 2004-06-30 08:18 PM

Wow....you put so much emotion and feeling into it.
I enjoyed it...keep it up.

~Alli~

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

4 posted 2004-07-01 02:57 AM

hey, i really liked the title you put to this. it reminds me of my friend who like...sometimes enjoys being sad. he revels in it. i guess it takes a stronger person to not be completely against sadness...nice poem. i liked the length of it, and the images were done well. thanks for sharing.

bergundy

"Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man)

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2004-07-27 11:36 AM

I liked the poem. I didn't get the format it was written in, but I still like it.

Very hard hitting stuff

I left my wallet in El Segundo...
And I gotta get it
I got got to get it!

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

6 posted 2004-07-29 09:56 PM

beautiful.... I like the way you put everything. I can relate to it quite well.

Kissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

7 posted 2004-07-29 10:57 PM

I like how you used the whole ocean and birds things. Awesome imagery. Good work! ~Jess

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

8 posted 2004-07-30 10:47 PM

Really intresting

I liked it because there was alot of imagery.

Juju

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