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Teen Poetry #7
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What if...?
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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What if...? |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
What if I was in a crazy mood and only wanted to see you right now What if I was the only person left in the world who cared about anything at all? What if I missed seeing your blue eyes What if my missing was pointless. What if it wouldn't go away, regardless. What if it turns out, the world has turned on me, what if I've just let them, when I should have been more strong. I'm not strong right now, not brave at all. If my mood turns harsh, the weather hisses in reply, telling me, I'm not the only one. Why do I want to be the only one, no one else deserves pain like this. I wonder if my serious tone would ruin your happiness, or if I should mention upon dark things? I wish not to disturb you... but you've always known so much, and I'll always admire that. My core is dense, though it illuminates lightness. My pain has returned, for no reason. The pain from so long ago, its so alike, and I feel so strange, now that it is beneathe me again. At least I've grasped on to something familiar. I've tripped through this day, though laughter held me high. And eyes stood and questioned my instability. I wish I could know I was worth something. What if I asked you to comfort me....could you try? ~not my usual...a little simpler. |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
I really enjoyed this, and its not the type of poem I am generally a fan of. There was something very emotionally powerful about it that gripped me. I can really relate to the part about having the pain to hold onto simply because its something farmiliar. Thank you for the read, and keep it up. |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Wow, this is definitely one of my favorite's of yours! Very full of emotions, very expressive. Some of my favorite lines.."What if my missing was pointless. What if it wouldn't go away, regardless." And "I wonder if my serious tone would ruin your happiness, or if I should mention upon dark things." Wonderful piece, I loved and can relate to every line! Thanks for sharing. W.W. |
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Strider612 Junior Member
since 2003-12-21
Posts 46Alabama, United States of America |
What if the poem was more clearly defined? It'd probably wouldn't work as well. :P Well, personally I liked this one. I don't know if I understood it in the same way it was meant, but I suppose that's something good about a poem--if it can be interpreted more than one way. It seems like you're wanting to lean on someone who's really special (and probably feels similarly toward you) and hoping that person can comfort you. Not a lost love poem, but a saving love poem. If any of that makes sense. I say all of that to say, I think it was a good piece. Maybe I overanalyzed it and that's how it's supposed to be taken, but the responses of those others made me think I was interpreting it differently. Anyway, good job with this one. |
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