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Teen Poetry #7
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fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

0 posted 2004-06-15 02:06 AM



i am clean
but broken
i hope you're
happy without me
all i care about
is how you feel
i will die inside
but please
don't be sad
i love you
with all of my heart
and i am so lucky
to have known you
you changed my life

"Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man)

© Copyright 2004 bergundy - All Rights Reserved
IndigoEve
Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time
1 posted 2004-06-15 09:32 AM


Soulmates.

...sigh.

If I were to touch you, would you bleed a velvet river, running miracles through the sodden ground? --Moi

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
2 posted 2004-06-15 06:56 PM


this makes me want to cry...I feel the same way about the one I love.
aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia
3 posted 2004-06-16 05:51 AM


this is beautiful although sad.... i feel the same way at the  moment about someone...
keepup the writing and i hope to read more of your work soon
Mel

so this is me but what do you care about that????
i am who i am. no one can change that but me, even then it will be a fight to the death

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
4 posted 2004-06-16 02:58 PM


Very sad, bittersweet. Good job, even the length is perfect.
Thanks for sharing.

W.W.
We were meant to live for so much more have we lost ourselves?
Maybe redemption has stories to tell maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
5 posted 2004-06-16 09:18 PM


hey everyone,
yeah...the situation sucks a lot, but hey...maybe i'll write some groovy poetry out of it at least.  i know i'll be okay, but i'm still sad sometimes so it's awesome to know you guys are here. thanks =)
love
bergundy

"Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man)

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
6 posted 2004-06-30 08:43 PM


awww....so sad....i know i've felt like this before....

~Alli~

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418
Earth
7 posted 2004-06-30 09:35 PM


this is soo sad ,,,,,ii cant reallly relate to this one,,,keep posting .,,im loving it...so cuteeeeeeeeeeeee...love and respect

Fate is what controls the world so just let it go and I PROMISE YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
8 posted 2004-07-01 02:16 AM


I like this for the simple fact that it is as if you wrote down the words as they came to mind.  Alot of times I find myself having all these great ideas for poems, and then I try to change everything so it sounds like a "poem".  Ultimately screwing the whole thing up.  You captred the delicateness of your feelings but it also flowed considerably well.  Great job

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

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