navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » the mirror lied
Teen Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic the mirror lied Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2004-06-08 04:35 PM


v.1 i used to believe in promises
that every word that was spoken
was true down to the very end
of the sharp glass thats been broken

hk. it hung in my room in one piece for so long
yet now its in pieces because it did me wrong

ch. relections don't tell everything about what's inside
sometimes you have to look past those to see what they hide
i can't help that everytime i cry i close my eyes
and turn away so that all you can hear is that the mirror lied

v.2 there are so many masks to hide behind
so you can just pretend to smile
when inside you feel like your practically dying
but its only for a little while

hk. because when you finally close up in your candle-lit room
you come out slowly like a flower in late bloom
and you can finally get down on your knees
hold up your hands with a piercing scream

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

© Copyright 2004 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved
peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
1 posted 2004-06-08 10:01 PM


This poem was awesome, I can't see why no one left you a commment yet! Great work, this one is goin' in my library! ~Jess

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
2 posted 2004-06-09 12:55 PM


This piece really hit home for me. I think we all where are masks at different points in our lives and right now I can really relate to the message of this one, smiling on the outside while dying on the in. Nicely written
~Live and Laugh~

The memories are worth the pain when the happiness is outweighs the sorrow
~Bella~

Cinderelly
Member
since 2001-12-31
Posts 189
NM, USA
3 posted 2004-06-09 12:58 PM


I loved this! I'm a total fan of your poetry!

* For all the words of tongue and pen, the saddest are those, "It might have been." *

BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
4 posted 2004-06-11 10:43 PM


I really enjoyed this, and definetly felt where you are coming from. You have a good way with words, I look forward to seeing more from you.
Jen

Everything gets better in the end, and if it's not better, it's probably not the end.

Savage Quiescence
Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326
Wandering
5 posted 2004-06-14 01:57 AM


Great write, very powerful image at the end. I hope you are proud to have written something that can touch countless people in a meaningful way. Keep writing.
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
6 posted 2004-06-16 06:34 PM


Wow. This is so amazing! The emotion in this, is so powerful. I especially loved the 2nd verse.
excellent! Thanks for sharing, this is going in my library.

W.W.
We were meant to live for so much more have we lost ourselves?
Maybe redemption has stories to tell maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
7 posted 2004-06-17 12:18 PM


This was good. I difently liked it. Well done.

It's been awhile,since I've seen the way, the candles light your face. It's been a while, but I can still remember just the way you taste! ~StainD

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418
Earth
8 posted 2004-07-01 07:48 PM


this poem caught my attention it was one of the best i have read from u,,im truly amazed it is the cutest poem,,lol,,its soo true about life,,,,well well done
kkeeep positng

Fate is what controls the world so just let it go and I PROMISE YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!

Sweetest Sorrow X
Member
since 2004-01-19
Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket
9 posted 2004-07-04 05:39 PM


This poem..everytime I read it I find A new thing I love
<3
Persephone

You better count your lucky stars that everything I wish for..doesnt come true

A.L
Member
since 2003-03-15
Posts 131

10 posted 2004-07-09 01:38 PM


) I liked it )

I see me frowning in your eyes...
I see the fear in you...
Where no one ever should be...

::From Autumn To Ashes::

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
11 posted 2004-07-27 11:14 AM


I liked the poem. I thought that you wrote it in a very creative way, however i felt that the ending was a bit abrupt.

Maybe that was just me, though. Regardless, great idea for a write, and very well done.

I left my wallet in El Segundo...
And I gotta get it
I got got to get it!

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
12 posted 2004-07-28 11:00 AM


to everyone..thank you so much for all the replies...i really apreciate it.
i am hoping to put this song to music soon...because i am learning the guitar....so i am very excited.
once again thanks for the comments.

riley

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » the mirror lied

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary