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Teen Poetry #7
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Beauty IS NOTHING!!!! -- i hate you when you say its everything!!!
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Beauty IS NOTHING!!!! -- i hate you when you say its everything!!! |
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sweet_cute_palestinian04 Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418Earth |
What do you think of love?, Beauty?,beauty?,beauty!! Is that all you care about beauty? I dont have what you want , im not that pretty , not that white, neither fine looking, I wont ever accpet you to love me for my beauty!! i TRULY DONT CARE IF YOU EVER LOVE ME,,you dont desreve me,,.. I cant accpet someone like you to kill me all in one,... I hate the way you love me,,because i cant stand you by looking at me,, ,,..i dont want to love you ever ,.. i hate you because of everything you said ,,i wish i never ,met someone like you .. Before i met you i was soo happy with life and accpeted it the way it is,but you appear and kkilled me..... i hate you,ihate you ,i hate you, i hate you,, DONT YOU GET IT ,i hate for saying beauty has to be included in love ... YOu dont even know what love is ,. you dont even know who you are. i wish i am the one that raised you atleast to teach you something real rather than beign fake,.. im not BIRTNEY SPEARS, IM NOT Jennifer lOPEZ..they're fake ,, im nothing but me .. wanna acppet me the way i am ,i welcome you ,but if not just screw you..!!! I will cover you with my blood,not only because i love you but because your are the one that turned my blood a color.... |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
I don't really get how this is a poem. It seems more like a rant, in my honest opinion. You've got a good concept going here but try to give it some structure and flow. A little more thought and effort could go a long way, so don't give up. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I'm gonna have to agree with Savage Quiescence on this poem. Maybe if you try to make it flow into 1 poem, instead of a bunch of sentences it will be better. Don't worry, I'm still a big fan of your work!  ~Alli~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I ilked thepoem. full of emotion! The ending was really out there. GOod job, and try to step back sometimes and analyze things and people for who they are.... not for what they seem.  I left my wallet in El Segundo... |
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thinktwice Member
since 2003-12-23
Posts 125United States |
This poem is obviously a rant. Don't miss understand me. I liked it for the rawness and the pure emotion in it. We have people writing their little rhythm and rhyme stuff in here, it's all the same. People using flowery language to convey pain inside. I'm glad someone just wrote exactly what came into their head and didn't stop to think about it. A poem can touch other people...but i think it's useless if it dosn't touch/help the author. |
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