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Teen Poetry #7
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Don_Juan
Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252
Far from where I am going

0 posted 2004-05-19 06:31 PM


Love on Layaway

Women despise me
hate to see, speak, hear or think me
because i don't act like most guys
and i'm not very pleasing to the eyes
emphasize
constantly they tantalize
with lies thrown out
undisguised and raw
and slammed through my eyes
lay in the wake of burning bridges
stagnant water fed to me
through a tube of neglect
'cause i'm not cute
just an average man
living in a higher standards world
no cash to please
no car to bring a smile
love is only for those
with presidents to their name
i must have mine on layaway
maybe i'm in need of welfare,
foodstamps, something.
why do they despise
why is that i hold no value
in their eyes
develop your personality
when the physical things
don't go your way
but you lose out
when anything deeper
than the skin
is worthless
to those you try to please.

eh it's really not the greatest but i hope you enjoy it anyway

nice use of muffin

© Copyright 2004 John Lervezuk - All Rights Reserved
sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418
Earth
1 posted 2004-05-19 07:19 PM


this poem was amazing but full of anger,,,i think i know what you mean keep it  up love and respect

I will cover you with my blood,not only because
i love you but because your are the one that turned my blood a color....

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
2 posted 2004-05-19 08:58 PM


Ive judged guys by just there looks before, and i felt horrible... but probably nothing compared to how they felt. I am so sorry that poeple judge you like this, i haved judged, and therefore been judged also, so i know how it feels... both ways. I loved this poem. Your emotion was very clear, and well put!
kissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

sparrow139
Junior Member
since 2004-05-13
Posts 18
UK
3 posted 2004-05-20 09:48 AM


This is a great poem, the rhythm of it really emphasises the anger you feel. It's so fast and sharp it almost sounds like a rap!
I'm sorry you feel so judged though. If it's any consolation, the girls that are worth it won't judge you by your looks. Those that do aren't worth your time.

[sparrow]

Rommance_Touch
Member
since 2004-05-07
Posts 97

4 posted 2004-05-20 01:26 PM


Gr8, and sadnees poem...so attracted
but Trust yourself, dont let other judge you or your love own you.

~~Romance_Touch~~
  ~Not_Ended~

Stepharoo
Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 149
Washington, USA
5 posted 2004-05-20 08:42 PM


Very Good! Yeah I know its not easy when people judge you when they dont even know who you are. I have been judged so many times...as I'm sure lots of other people have. I try not to, cause I know how much it can hurt.
Very Good Poem!!!
Keep it up.

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