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thinktwice
Member

since 2003-12-23

Posts 125
United States

0 posted 2004-05-15 10:48 PM

As my thoughts begin to wander
I can't tell what's haunting me
Knowing I've had enough of her
But my sorrow bleeds ever so deeply

Caught up by the reflection in the mirror
My eyes begin storming in a tearful shiver
I feel my soul turn black in the distaste
No one console me, no one to embrace

In this state I grow in my own depression
left in my self pity, in my own disention
My heart drowns in an ocean of pleeding confession
Her bullets cut right through, her words her weapon

The above is a testimony of something most everybody has felt. Obviously "that" would be the feeling of a broken heart. As many may have assumed this is a "break-up" poem. It's actually about the ireconcileable loss of a life long friendship. "Life long" meaning, up to this point. Relationships come and go....but good friendship is far more priceless.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

1 posted 2004-05-15 11:06 PM

I understand this, and know how losing something so precious hurts....you expressed it very well....

~~**~~
le vent chante avec le calme doux
calme de nuit
sien beauté sur mes lèvres
~~**~~

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

2 posted 2004-05-16 12:55 PM

I agree with the above, good poem, very well expressed.

"If ever you think of me out of the blue, just remember it's all the kisses I've blown in the air finally catching up with you!"
*~Erin~*

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

3 posted 2004-05-16 01:21 AM

I know. This was a beautiful write, i could feel every word!
kissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

sparrow139
Junior Member

since 2004-05-13

Posts 18
UK

4 posted 2004-05-16 05:24 PM

Really good poem, I agree with the others. Beautifully expressed.
The one thing I thought is that perhaps, since its a complex topic, perhaps you could write a couple more verses to add to it to explain things more deeply, about your feelings for this friend.
Lovely poem though, keep writing.

[sparrow]

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