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Teen Poetry #7
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Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2004-05-13 08:18 PM


I wrote this along time ago, so I'm not sure if I posted this or not, so bare with me lol, I know, you'll prolly think it's bad.

I’ve been alone all these years,
With no one there for me.
Blinded by so many tears,
Never to be free…

Darkness descends upon my eyes,
I have to be dreaming,
For only I can hear my cries,
And in my dream I’m screaming…

In this dream, I walk away,
With so much pain left inside.
While in reality there’s nothing left,
Except my shame, that I must hide.

It's been awhile,since I've seen the way, the candles light your face. It's been a while, but I can still remember just the way you taste! ~StainD

© Copyright 2004 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved
kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
1 posted 2004-05-13 09:17 PM


I liked it. It wasnt your best, but it was good. I liked it. The rhyming was good, not forced, which is hard to do for me. ~lol~ So i applaud anyone who can do it.
kissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world
2 posted 2004-05-15 07:02 PM


Very powerful, I liked it. The rhyming was good too. Maybe you could call it something like darkness. Lol i'm not the best on names but anyways, good poem!

"If ever you think of me out of the blue, just remember it's all the kisses I've blown in the air finally catching up with you!"
  *~Erin~*

sparrow139
Junior Member
since 2004-05-13
Posts 18
UK
3 posted 2004-05-16 06:02 PM


"Darkness descends upon my eyes,
I have to be dreaming,
For only I can hear my cries,
And in my dream I’m screaming…"

I particularly like this verse... I feel you, I can sense where you're coming from.
Good stuff.

[sparrow]

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