»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #7
»
of course
| Teen Poetry #7 |
|
of course |
|
|
Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
I was lying in a dim and wet place, crying slowly, almost in patterns, complex scattered storybook letters, poured from my eyes, onto my white chest. And then...with this rock implanted firm in my throat, I know, I am lonely. Hands come in friendly quickness. Eyes question and hesitate to lengthen the staying on my presence. Sabotage the red and pumping organ. I suck on your mint blue eyes, for a refreshing new outlook. But it’s all imaginary. Of course I'm sitting here, trying not to love you. Of course I'm trying to ignore your lips. Yes of course, I'm acting in complete decency. |
||
| © Copyright 2004 Alexis Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Lexy-- Now why in the world has no one commented on this yet???  You have an incredibly refreshing outlook on poetry. Reading this was pure enjoyment. I really liked this line: "complex scattered storybook letters," Caught my attention right away. The image I got reminds me of a ripped up fairytale book...though I don't think that was your intent, but it was a cool image nonetheless. The last three lines: awesome. Somewhat ironic in tone, but I thought it was really fitting. I'm debating on whether it was strong enough as an ending, though. In any case, I like your writing style. I'll look out for more of your work!  --Leah ps- good to see you still writing, btw. I think I'll add this to my library so I can read it again later on. |
||
|
blackandwhitehorizon Member
since 2003-05-05
Posts 183an akward state of mind |
Great use of words and descriptions! I really like it  "love is but a song we sing and fear's the way we die" |
||
|
Stepharoo Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 149Washington, USA |
I really like this a lot! WoW!!! Great Job!!! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
