A mind at war - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

0 posted 2004-04-27 02:17 AM

So I sat down and wrote this whole thing in about .2 seconds. Its horrible the flow is off it all around needs some work, BUT it is a big huge rant that I just need to get off of my chest.

I won! I won! Oh isn’t it wonderful
He’s mine and not hers, he came back
And he wants me dammit! Who cares about the rest?

You won? Really?
So the jerk who strangled your soul
And shattered your heart
Found out the hard way that you were the best
And instead of kicking him aside like you should have done,
You proved to him that he can walk over your spirit and get away with it

No, it’s not like that! He loves me!
He misses me and he wants me back
I am the one his heart calls out for
I am the one he is suppose to be with forever

Forever huh?
Or maybe just until the next “evil one” comes along
Well he has it good here but could it be even better there?
What if?

He told me there were no more “what if’s”!
He promised me that he had finally figured it out
That I was his true love and that even if I didn’t believe him,
He would prove to me that I’m priceless

Priceless? Or Worthless?
He promised? How can you be so naive?
You know what he did to you, you know how he hurt you

I also know how happy he makes me
How he can light up my life with just a smile
How without him near me I feel miserable
And feel like my life is worth nothing

You can’t take him back, you can’t trust him

But I love him, love conquers all in the end
He will prove to me eventually that I am who he needs

No, he wont, he’ll hurt you again

Yes, he will, I can see it in his eyes

Eyes can be deceiving, he won’t

He will!
He wont!
Yes!
No!

….All things will be known in time
and then we’ll see who is right
My head or my heart…

The nice thing about being a pesimest is that your either right, or pleasantly surprised.
~Bella~

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

1 posted 2004-04-27 07:54 AM

Bella- The dichotomy of head vs. heart is very well done, and this subject is something that we all deal with at one time or another (and another and another...)
Great job... even with the "terrible flow", and the "work" you feel it needs.
(HINT- It's always better than you might think)

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

2 posted 2004-04-27 03:57 PM

heh, thank you.
~Live and Laugh~

The nice thing about being a pesimest is that your either right, or pleasantly surprised.
~Bella~

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2004-04-27 05:22 PM

I really really love this! I could really feel what you're going to. Maybe partly because I've been in a similar situation, but Im sure other people can feel the emotion too.
Very powerful and sad. I especially love the 7th stanza.
Thanks for sharing.

W.W.
We were meant to live for so much more have we lost ourselves?
Maybe redemption has stories to tell maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 418
Earth

4 posted 2004-04-27 06:18 PM

wow...good poem keep it uppp

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

5 posted 2004-04-27 06:19 PM

I LOVE it!!!!

Censored
Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 86

6 posted 2004-04-27 06:34 PM

I love the back and forth-ness of it, lol.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.