Year Book - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Don_Juan
Member

since 2004-04-08

Posts 252
Far from where I am going

0 posted 2004-04-23 11:33 PM

Year Book

Look through your year book
and find your secret obsession
a girl you'll never know
she's the girl of your dreams
yeah only your dreams
you've been running
for way too long
take a breath or two
in, out, in, out
your knees are worn down
like an old man with gout
and bloodshot fingernails
drinking away your sorrows
with a martini
stirred never shaken
roling dice in an alley
never winning
never losing
your average and run of the mill
and your to the point
where very confession you've made
has bee in a cab
to a guy named Ahmed
paying your fares
with nothing but pocket lint
so there's nothing to lose
look at the picture
of the girl of your dreams
the one you'll never meet
watch it fadeas the
stars do when the sun lights up
say your shoulda, woulda, couldas
and be done with it for the night
as you see her
once more as
your mind plays her
by the light of night
do you hope to see her
as you wait under rusted trees
in heaps of nothing
just to once say hello
to the woman you'll never know

eh another poem in my spare time. hope you like it

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 418
Earth

1 posted 2004-04-23 11:41 PM

wow...i actually felt what u were saying only for a guy lolol...well gr88m poemmm i love ittt keep it upp

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

2 posted 2004-04-24 10:49 AM

Gotta love spare time, eh? Nice.

loner187
Member

since 2004-03-21

Posts 106
Upstate New York

3 posted 2004-04-25 12:06 PM

I liked this much, had a real sort-a dream feel to it. I got a mental picture of one of those dark alleys with the steam coming up from below the ground. I know that has nothing to do with the idea around the poem, but it's still good. And nice use of imagery lol

What if the hokey pokey is what it's all about?

Don_Juan
Member

since 2004-04-08

Posts 252
Far from where I am going

4 posted 2004-04-25 01:03 AM

i'm glad people liked it. thanks for taking the time to critique.
i just hope some more people take a look at it

nice use of muffin

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.