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Teen Poetry #7
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thinktwice
Member
since 2003-12-23
Posts 125
United States

0 posted 2004-04-19 03:08 PM



Give into sweet surrender
  Tasting sugar sweet lips
   Slip around the the glassy edge
    Diverting shallow sorrow
     into the cunundrum
      Deception continues

© Copyright 2004 Adam Wolf - All Rights Reserved
Ixxi
Member
since 2004-01-02
Posts 77
England
1 posted 2004-04-19 04:36 PM


To be frank, I'm not sure what to say about this... I wasn't sure whether to say it's not so good - or whether it's a work of art!

This poem shows how talented you are in the way that you can write something quite deep and romantic in an extremely short piece. On the other hand, its being so short makes it difficult to "get into" if you know what I mean. I like it very much though; a very nice mysterious edge to it.

"Where paper cuts, and bloody hands, In the middle, they will meet"
- Funeral For A Friend

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
2 posted 2004-04-19 06:47 PM


i thought that it was awesome. it was so much deeper than anything else being posted on here. congratulations for writing something worthwhile! please stick to deep stuff.
thinktwice
Member
since 2003-12-23
Posts 125
United States
3 posted 2004-04-20 02:13 AM


in reply to Ixxi: i'm glad you 'thought twice' about the poem :-).
anya
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393
London, UK
4 posted 2004-04-20 04:41 PM


I like the fact that you are succinct in this poem, there is not a word wasted which creates much more of an impact!
Match
Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286
Canada Edmonton
5 posted 2004-04-20 05:46 PM


I agree with what evryones already said...this poem was excellent  

http://www.enternexus.com/profile.php?uid=34810 <----Thats all me

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
6 posted 2004-04-21 06:04 PM


Even though it was short you made your point in - like lxxi said - a mysterious way. Nice job!!

~Alli~

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
7 posted 2004-04-22 12:13 PM


*applause* nicely done, few words...big impact, those are the best.
~Live and Laugh~

The nice thing about being a pesimest is that your either right, or pleasantly surprised.
~Bella~

blackandwhitehorizon
Member
since 2003-05-05
Posts 183
an akward state of mind
8 posted 2004-04-29 09:10 PM


sometimes short poems are the most entrapping... this was definitly a very nicely written short poem
Censored
Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 86

9 posted 2004-04-29 10:40 PM


nice!
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