»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #7
»
Me AND You are one!!
| Teen Poetry #7 |
|
Me AND You are one!! |
|
|
sweet_cute_palestinian04 Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418Earth |
i tried so hard on being with you.. but i guessyour not worth it.. i gave you all i have i trustedyou with my heart. i trusted you to keep my heart so you would feed it andmake it strong and never die... but did that work? do you remember when we promised we would never fail each othereven if they covered our own bodies with our blood? do u remember when you told me your likemy medicine i need every sec??. DONT YOU DARE TO LEAVE! do you remember when i looked at you telling you..,," me and the you are 1 but me and the world are 2??. so dont you be jealous frommy friends??.. but all the promises we both made faild....because you did'nt give me a chance.. when you told me we're not ment for each other and you found another girl,and that im too young [16] and your too old for me [25]..ireminded you that me and you are 1..so at that moment........... .i looked into your eyes and i knew you did not want to leave ...i reminded youthat i will alwayz love you....i promised to keep you in between my hands and never let go.. and i did and alwayz will... alwayz and forever many guyz came telling me they love me and i refused because i keep my promises in my heart and never let go even if it gets to death..and rememeberthat you WILL ALWAYZ BE THE ONE.. SO REMEMBER ME AND YOU ARE ALWAYZ 1,,"" ""ALWAYZ AND FOREVER...."" ::^LOVE^:: |
||
| © Copyright 2004 sweet_cute_palestinian04 - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
sweet_cute_palestinian04 Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418Earth |
hope u like it..... |
||
|
kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
i did, sorta like romeo and juliet... I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
||
|
silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
i admire your honesty in ur poems i liked the truth and pain set into each and everyline and the unpredictable pattern made it interesting lol age difference dont matter u guys should fight for wat you had LOR The pain of losing you, is still wanting you near. |
||
|
Don_Juan Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252Far from where I am going |
i also enjoyed the honesty in the poem as well. it was all in all a good read for me nice use of muffin |
||
|
sweet_cute_palestinian04 Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418Earth |
that u all for ur commentssssssssssss its really grr888 love and respect muahz |
||
|
UnsilencedWords666 Member
since 2003-11-19
Posts 63Broken Memories & Falling Tears |
I really do like your work-It's very thruthfull and well written...keep up the good work and hope to read more from you soon! *~*nessa bear*~* You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~* |
||
Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
your work is good...yes. but a poem is...presented better...taken in better...if the words are spelled correctly...spaces put in the correct spots...punctuation correct. and numbers and things spelled out... but other wise...there is a lot of honesty in your stuff that you can't normally find... so it was good -always- riley no matter what i'll always love you |
||
|
loner187 Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 106Upstate New York |
I agree with Riley...a poem is overall better if punctuated correctly and when correct spelling is used, not slang. But, I liked this poem. It was like a modern Romeo and Juliet story. I can't relate to it personally, but age shouldn't matter when it comes to matters of the heart. What if the hokey pokey is what it's all about? |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
