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Ixxi
Member

since 2004-01-02

Posts 77
England

0 posted 2004-04-05 08:22 AM

Turn away, don't look back
Into an imaginary person's eyes.
Wipe your tears from your face,
I might be the one you want in disguise.

Refrain from reaching below
The surface, for he is now gone and dead,
His false heart carved in stone,
His face now buried underneath black lead.

Things happen for a reason.
Now he suffers the pain he put you through.
Life's a wait for wishes;
You never found yours but still I wait for you.

Your blistered hand is open;
Your heart is sealed from grief and pain.
Don't hurt yourself my precious
Don't wait until the world turns again.

Turn away, don't look back
Into a dead person's eyes.
Wipe your tears from your face,
I am the one you always wanted in disguise.

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

1 posted 2004-04-05 11:29 AM

this somewhat morbidly romantic poem disturbed intriqued at the same time.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

2 posted 2004-04-05 06:01 PM

This poem is awesome; I read is four times just to get it all. There are some things that I don't like. The last stanza repeats and I love the way it fits but I would have liked to the same emotion displayed in a different set of words. Some of the words you have chosen to describe some emotions don't seem to fit that well. Other than that I loved this poem... I hope that you get better in you poetry don't take what I said into to much consideration that’s just what I would have liked to see...keep writing...going into my library if you don't mind

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

Ixxi
Member

since 2004-01-02

Posts 77
England

3 posted 2004-04-06 11:17 AM

Sure, you can put it in your library if you like. Thanks for the comments. x

UnsilencedWords666
Member

since 2003-11-19

Posts 63
Broken Memories & Falling Tears

4 posted 2004-04-06 08:43 PM

I really liked this; it had a morbid undertone which I found rather intriging...Keep up the great work! ::smiles for you::

*~*nessa bear*~*

You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~*

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

5 posted 2004-04-06 08:49 PM

dido ^^^ Very awesome poem!!! I loved it.

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

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