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Teen Poetry #7
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Manth88
Junior Member
since 2003-06-15
Posts 45
IL, USA

0 posted 2004-08-24 12:59 PM


Hey Feel Free To Reply I Would Like To Have Any Tips Or Comments You Have!


When the clouds come together, they band.
That’s what first happened when I saw him.
But rained started to fall.
It was getting grim.
When I realized that he didn’t know.
How much I like him.
It’s so hard sometimes
To express how you feel
Inside your thoughts are turning.
Like a fast spinning wheel
So I come to the conclusion
To tell him it’s time to stop.
That fast spinning wheel.
So I open my mouth
To udder a word
And I couldn’t believe
What I’ve just heard
He said I want you forever
And ever more
Now the sky is bright.
And the rain doesn’t pour.
Great News I Just Found Out This Got Published, I Hope YOu Liked It. This Is One Of My Best Poems Ever!!

© Copyright 2004 Manthe - All Rights Reserved
aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia
1 posted 2004-08-24 07:24 AM


this is seriously good... and the fact that it has been pulished just boosts this poem even more.... i love the imagery and how you have written this,....
keep them comin..
Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

davidmerriman
Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 123
Dallas, TX
2 posted 2004-08-24 06:57 PM


i hope you aren't disillusioned in thinking that it will be published in Poetry.com, it's an internet scam and they "publish" everyone. Really they just want you to shell out 40 or 50 bucks for an overpriced book. Sure, if you really want your poem published you can, but it will be because you paid money to some internet scam site, not because your poem had merit.

if it didn't apply to poetry.com or a similar shady internet site, then disregard my post. i don't have any comments to your poem, because if i did, you wouldn't like them.

yankees01rugby
Junior Member
since 2003-08-13
Posts 48
USA
3 posted 2004-08-24 11:06 PM


i loved this poem!! great job!

"What your mind believes, your body will achieve. Its time to start believing."

Manth88
Junior Member
since 2003-06-15
Posts 45
IL, USA
4 posted 2004-08-25 12:59 PM


Well...david, I wasn't saying that i believed it, I don't plan on buying the book at all, I wouldn't think of spending that kind of money for it but...yea. and thanx for your non-comment to the write. Thank you to the ppl with actual comments and appreciation for the write on here, i appreciate you taking the time to read and reply...


!^*Manth88*^!

Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A
5 posted 2004-08-26 02:27 PM


Hey you,
   First of all thank you for your comment to my poem. Yeah i am very sentimental when it comes to stuff to like that i guess. But anyway your poem is really good as well. If you ever need someone to talk to when things are bad or when they are even good you can talk to me and ill be there to listen to ya hun. My aol sn is chrissccr18 and my email is soccerplayer4life04@hotmail.com. Keep up with your amazing writing you got talent.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
6 posted 2004-09-06 04:00 PM


Yeah, poetry.com is a scam, but as long as you know that already, I won't say anything.

Anyways...I loved this poem, and I can really relate to it.

If you ever want to talk... e-mail: alg20@juno.com ||| aim s/n: Alli4000

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

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