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Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

0 posted 2004-03-02 10:14 AM

What Breeze May Come

Slow breeze with soothing chills;
breaking the heat of hate.
Whispering softly in your ear
tales of love and fate.
These tales take the mind away
from lifes reality.
If fate is love and love is fate,
I pray that breeze flows free.

Harsh winds of change then rise.
They swirl about in storms.
Tearing gaps in all that's known-
leaving loss and mourn.
As day break looms, we grieve of things
that change hath made undone.
If this is but the fate for me,
I damn what breeze may come!

Jeremy Halstead 8-17-00

Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love.

drummerboy678
Member

since 2003-10-28

Posts 134

1 posted 2004-03-02 05:46 PM

Jeremy -
This is real good. I hate to see when poems like this go by without any responses. You wrote using words like 'hath' and some other old english writing styles, but it works so well.

This poem is very well written, flows well, and has a great message.

Nice job man

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

2 posted 2004-03-02 06:35 PM

I love the way this poem was written and the way it flowed. So good

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2004-03-08 04:41 AM

the title drew me in and the poem...well, I could really relate

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

4 posted 2004-03-08 04:50 PM

smooth was the best word to describe it. i really enjoyed it. refreshing stuff

aRiEsAnGeL
Member

since 2004-03-04

Posts 53
Florida

5 posted 2004-03-09 09:14 PM

you know how to put words together real well.....i liked this one

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

6 posted 2004-03-13 11:28 AM

I agree with Passing Shadows, the title is what drew me in first, but I liked the whole thing. Well done.

"And my heart still pumps twice as fast whenever you walk by. Cause I still love you."~ Blindside

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

7 posted 2004-03-13 03:50 PM

I loved this.
It was something new.
The flow was amazing.

~Kissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

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