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Teen Poetry #7

Untouchable

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

0 posted 2004-02-28 09:03 AM

Untouchable

Standing so close, I could reach out
and press my hand to her body.
Yet she somehow alludes my grasp
and taunts me unknowingly
because she's untouchable.

She sees my attraction, but can't
look at any heart but his...
her unqualifid keeper.
I know she wants to peek, but won't.
So I'm untouchable.

We dance about and dodge eachothers way-
it's like our little game.
Only no one can win and
the pieces move forever when
the goal is eachother
and were untouchable.

Jeremy Halstead

Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

1 posted 2004-02-28 09:16 AM

this was pretty good. you could have gone into much more description and metphors witht this one. it wasn't bad,but wasn't awesome. i guess it was just alright. keep posting stuff though!
-alex

now im alone, but not lonely like before

aRiEsAnGeL
Member

since 2004-03-04

Posts 53
Florida

2 posted 2004-03-11 06:29 PM

this was very good poem Jeremy

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