Stars Are Just Fallen Tears From Tonight

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young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-02-25 05:14 PM

Stars Are Just Fallen Tears From Tonight

I'll make my desperate plea for you again,
These quiet words that i whisper to you.
This case has no place in the hearts of men
Because the jury has already decided the outcome.
Smile and wink but the water's never so clear
And muddy speech will cover the clean ground.
If i scream, maybe the deaf will now hear
And understand what i'm spewing out.
My eyes are so blind in midnight light,
So my hands are outstretched to find you.
You've run away from me again tonight
And left me to find my way back home alone.
My eyelid dams build up these shimmering tears
Threatening to spill out onto my pillow,
It's like a towel that's dried off my fears
But my hot cheeks never dry it out.
Though I know of your sure guilt
I'll defend you even while I weep.
The black and white flowers you hold will wilt
And fire will consume their wax beauty.
Lying to all for a good cause comes with ease
For I'm used to the way you whisper.
Never stop even when I scream "Please"
Because I haven't mistrusted in awhile.
Let the night burn and fall to the morning,
Maybe the Sun will consume me.
And you know that Stars are fallen tears of mourning
That have slipped from my eyes, Lifted to the sky.

now im alone, but not lonely like before

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2004-02-25 05:18 PM

you really need to pursue writing as a career.

That was one of the most...
touching, meaningful poems I've ever read.

so honest too...
~Lex

chicken
Junior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 44

2 posted 2004-02-26 05:57 AM

your poem toke me away from the evryday routine of life! great poem

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

3 posted 2004-02-26 05:55 PM

I agree with your first reply...you should def. pursue a career in writing. This poem was absolutely amazing. Great work, this one is going in my library! ~Jess

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

4 posted 2004-02-26 08:55 PM

thank you all so much. this one was very easily written. ya know how sometimes they just flow out? ya this one did...thanks so much though...
-alex

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

5 posted 2004-03-02 02:37 PM

That was absolutely beautiful!!! I have no other words to describe it...

~J.Lynn

*¤§¤*You are born helpless...and you die helpless...*¤§¤*

muchos
Member

since 2003-11-29

Posts 102

6 posted 2004-03-02 08:44 PM

i read practically all your poems, so im quite familiar with them. i did like this one, but it just didnt grab me like all of the other ones. it was good dont get me wrong, i just didnt get my usual chills. great use of words and imagery, keep it up

torn rag doll
New Member

since 2003-11-26

Posts 3

7 posted 2004-03-02 10:27 PM

so, you want me to tear your poem apart and tell you how to get better? well i
can promise one thing.
heres the deal, im 18, and already upon reaching said modest age, ive seen
your type everywhere. every*******where i tell you. you poems are by far and
away, and without shadow of doubt the most incontestably bad literary abortions
i have ever read. anywhere. ever. now i would hazard a guess your 'words' mean
alot to you, you may even think you'll get somewhere with them, 'your poetic
beauty and lyrical proficencincy will touch the world'. no they wont. im sorry
to be the one to tell you this, but i think you need an objective opinion (i.e.
one that has'nt been ****** with the cock of teenage angst. you are awful, full
of ill-concievedly pretentious shite that actually means nothing and couldnt be
considered bona fide sophistry, merely the rambling conciousness of an idiot
with ideas bigger than his condom size. i say all this not as a malicious man,
but as a man who is so sick of seeing folk like you secretly think themselves
interesting just because you can string together a few sylables to earn the
admiration of an assembled gaggle of pithecoids. im sick of it, and ive now
seen it one too many times.
in conclusion, i dont want a reply consisting of 'you try it', bercause if i
did, it woud still be of higher quality, but still buttock clenchingly piss
poor. i may not know how to write poetry, but i do know when to tell people to
**** off.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

8 posted 2004-03-03 07:17 AM

thats nice. I'm glad that a newbie just flamed me. first off, you have no room to say anything about my ability to write. you've read one thing from me. don't make stupid comments like this one. if you had something constructive to say then i might consider what you said, but since you had no reason to say that i'm bad, i will continue to write and post my stuff.

[This message has been edited by young_blood (03-03-2004 12:04 PM).]

UnsilencedWords666
Member

since 2003-11-19

Posts 63
Broken Memories & Falling Tears

9 posted 2004-03-04 11:50 AM

Powerfull and amazing-but as I have come to realize; I should never expect less from you...another powerful message!

*~*Nessa Bear*~*

You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~*

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

10 posted 2004-03-05 12:56 PM

I've not been on piptalk in quite some time...and yours was the first poem that I've read as I returned. I'm so glad it was yours...it made me remember why I used to read poems on here all of the time. You have so much talent, and I agree with the others. You should DEFINITELY pursue a career in writing. You have a way of putting words together and forming beautiful poems that make people sit back in awe. I enjoyed reading your poem, and it's definitely going in my library for future reading. Very nice job!

*I figured out that trust was just my one mistake...*

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

11 posted 2004-03-05 04:57 PM

thank you all so much. you're encouragement makes me a happy person. (happiness is always good)

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