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Teen Poetry #7

Timid creatures..

Adam Alexander
Junior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 11
Home...

0 posted 2004-02-21 07:41 AM

Fewer and fewer, you fall from me.
Yet I carry on, without aim, without creed.
Nameless forever, but known just the same.
Where I am chaotic, you all are tame.
Cautious and timid, you scurry about.
But, without question, you're all devout.

You believe cause you want to, not cause you know.
But if one is not wounded, how can one grow?

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

1 posted 2004-02-21 12:09 PM

it was a good start on poetry. it had better meaning than most poems. it was kinda plain though. nothing really caught my attention.
-alex

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

2 posted 2004-02-21 02:43 PM

I like the way you write... nothing tacky or trying-too-hard about it, and that's what annoys me most in poetry.

You have a good feel for rhyme and rhythm both... I'd like to see something longer, though.

I'll be looking for more.

-Lioness

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

3 posted 2004-03-02 02:30 PM

*claps*...very good. Keep them coming! Hehe.

Love ya!

~J.Lynn

*¤§¤*You are born helpless...and you die helpless...*¤§¤*

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