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Teen Poetry #7
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sweet_lost_palestinian1
Member
since 2004-01-08
Posts 90


0 posted 2004-02-16 11:30 PM



Having such great heart!
having such a great life!

feeling peoplefeel you heart!
like having such desire into your life!

meeting new people in the greatest world..
with people who have the greatest smiles

trying to reach on for miles
to see the sunlight of the world .

you love the world and especially yourself
but when you meet the person you love

you seem everything so different like
you taste the world's heaven..

people can sometimes hurt you.
but remember ,they will never hate you

-----------------

hope you like it ..enjoy with all my love and respect

© Copyright 2004 sweet_lost_palestinian1 - All Rights Reserved
Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
1 posted 2004-02-17 09:51 PM


lovely hon, you do express your self nicely

hugsss


Lauren~

~~**~~
There are moments when speech
is but a mouth pressed lightly and
humbly against the angel's hands.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
2 posted 2004-02-18 05:36 PM


I like it. I agree with  ^^^^^!
~Vampire Kisses  

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

Essential Distress
Junior Member
since 2004-01-22
Posts 33

3 posted 2004-02-19 05:28 AM



well.....

it dosnt seem any different to the other poems you've written.

its really hard to read, because you dont have a set meter, and its obviously supposed to rhyme... sort of.

it starts with a standard enough meter... and then you invert it....
try to either have it all rhyme, or none at all. you just confuse the reader by changing it.

sweet_lost_palestinian1
Member
since 2004-01-08
Posts 90

4 posted 2004-02-24 11:59 AM


hey..well ummm i dont know what to say ,i try but i guess im just into more getting my point up..soo well umm thanks anyway
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