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Teen Poetry #7
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Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2004-02-15 08:49 PM



Don’t bring me down,
Like you always do.
Don’t take my happiness away,
Like you always do.

For once!
Just be happy for me,
Appreciate me,
Love me,
Be what you’re supposed to be,
A mother.
For once…Let me be me.

Don’t try and change me,
Like you always do.
Don’t try to force your beliefs on me,
Like you always do.

For once!
Listen to my opinions,
My beliefs,
Don’t interrupt,
Just listen.
I don’t ask for much,
Just be what you’re supposed to be,
A father.
For once…Just hear me out.

I don’t want to be like either of you,
Hypocritical, uptight, rude, or cynical,
So I’ll continue being my own person,
If you don’t like it – tough.

"Pain is just weakness escaping the body."

© Copyright 2004 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
1 posted 2004-02-15 10:20 PM


I can appreciate and relate to your feelings regarding your parents.  

I have over protective parents.
I mean REALLY overprotective, I'm not allowed to date or even hang out with friends, because their afraid of the "influence" they might have on me.
I liked this.
~Lex

yankees01rugby
Junior Member
since 2003-08-13
Posts 48
USA
2 posted 2004-02-16 11:19 AM


i can really relate to your feelings about your parents. my parents are VERY overprtective also and i promised i would never be like them...i will let my children have fun while they are a kid. very good job writing this!

Does the term "cruel and unusual punishment" mean anything to you?

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
3 posted 2004-02-16 01:36 PM


Yes, I can relate too. I am almost 14, and i really do love my parents, and i know they love me, but sometimes, they... I dont know. They love me too much i guess. lol they are overprotective, atleast my mom is, my dad, he is just not around a lot. My real dad, hes the one i can relate to with this peice. I dont want to go into it though. Nice write. I hope to hear more.
~kissa~

**~kissa~**
*I wanna be a little more like me, and a little less like YOU!*~ Linkin Park

Manth88
Junior Member
since 2003-06-15
Posts 45
IL, USA
4 posted 2004-02-18 10:31 PM


Great write, I think every kid has that problem with their parents, but you know in a way that is their job. Right??  But I love the poem and totally agree.

*^!Manth88!^*

drummerboy678
Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 134

5 posted 2004-02-20 12:10 PM


Well, its definelty one we can all relate to.  No poster in the "teen forum" is going to disagree with annoying parents.

It's a good topic, but I think the poem needs a little more work.  You seem to be repeating things here:

a) Don’t bring me down,
b) Like you always do.
c) Don’t take my happiness away,
d) Like you always do.

Lines (a) and (c) are pretty much the same thing, and obviously (b) and (d) are.

Don’t try and change me,
Like you always do.
Don’t try to force your beliefs on me,
Like you always do.

Same thing here.  Changing someone is obviously forcing their beliefs on them.
Just some suggestions on how to make this one better.

Peace

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