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Teen Poetry #7
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OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245


0 posted 2004-02-15 11:34 AM


One kiss, one tear.
One laugh, one cry.
One stroke, one end.
You were my cause.
I was an effect.
All the things I never knew...
I was just something that happened to you.


It's really hard being dumped by someone that was never really yours.
xx-cassiopeia.

© Copyright 2004 OtherSideOfTheMirror - All Rights Reserved
Ixxi
Member
since 2004-01-02
Posts 77
England
1 posted 2004-02-15 11:53 AM


Wow, you managed to make me feel all sad, even when I'm listening to Reel Big Fish!
That was a great write, short but sweet. Hope things turn out right in the end. x

blueyedlioness
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289
USA
2 posted 2004-02-15 03:25 PM


Hey, girl.

Glad to see you're still here and still writing.

Short poems are better sometimes... there are some things that only need a few words to say.

The right guy's out there, somewhere among all the wrong ones. Stay true to yourself, and you'll find him.

~Laura


kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
3 posted 2004-02-15 06:19 PM


Like they said, it was short, but sweet. I am sorry this happened. I know all to well what it feels like, and i dont care for that feeling much. This was a very good write!
~kissa~

**~kissa~**
*I wanna be a little more like me, and a little less like YOU!*~ Linkin Park

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
4 posted 2004-02-15 06:21 PM


Oh, and i think that it would be better to use one sob, instead of one cry. But it is  fine this way too.
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
5 posted 2004-02-15 10:26 PM


very true.
and though its short.
The theme was strong enough to where it didn't matter.
" I was just something that happened to you"
I like how you put that.
Like it was such a minor thing.
Your something to him, not someone.
And its a shame it has to be that way.  
Very nice.
And...I can relate.
Hang in there.
~Lex  

Censored
Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 86

6 posted 2004-04-14 08:53 PM


Awesome. I can really relate to that poem.
Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
7 posted 2004-04-14 09:39 PM


i liked this...it really was just simple and sweet and true...really true

i'm sitting in the dark....waiting...
waiting for you to see me.

a123
Member
since 2004-03-27
Posts 72

8 posted 2004-04-17 05:22 AM


Short poems r the best...they hve a greater impact..

Gr8 poem really last line was specially gd.
don worry things will work out..

a123

Cinderelly
Member
since 2001-12-31
Posts 189
NM, USA
9 posted 2004-04-21 05:01 PM


Great poem! Loved the lines: You were my cause. I was an effect.

Life is a moderately good play w/ a badly written thrid act. - Unknown

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
10 posted 2004-04-21 08:38 PM


Very nice!! I loved it!

~Alli~

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