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Teen Poetry #7
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Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2004-01-31 05:57 AM


“Don’tForget”
(31/01/04)
© 2004 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved

I was once your first priority,
now I’m just the bud of every joke.
Critiquing my personality,
Saying; my touch has gone a little rogue.
Comparing my hair-due with road kill,
half eaten by a roadside haystack.
You’re always halfway to vomit-Ville,
claim my lips taste like an old gym bag.

Why are you torturing me?
When every woman I see,
you brutally shun away??
Didn’t act like your V.D?
Oh no, are you telling me,
I forgot Valentines Day!!!!!

Don’t Forget, Don’t Forget…
The masquerade “St. Valentine Award”,
where I’m nominated for biggest dork.
Don’t Forget, Don’t Forget…
Didn’t even sink to a crazed attempt,
to excuse the flowers I didn’t sent.
What to do, What to do…

I’ve got to knock Don Juan of his thrown,
make Romeo love as a newbie.
Find restaurants which serve your favorite scone,
Pick-nick in some sort of park, maybe?.
Everyone’s allowed to dream away,
Though I’m not that sophisticated.
I wrote a note, Who’d just like to say:
“I believe, we got strength to make it”.

I’m begging for forgiveness.
Don’t want to be a witness,
to us turning off the light…
Go turn that frown upside down.
Make your heart move back to town,
for your celebration’s tonight…

Don’t Forget, Don’t Forget…
The masquerade “St. Valentine Award”,
where I’m nominated for biggest dork.
Don’t Forget, Don’t Forget…
Didn’t even sink to a crazed attempt,
to excuse the flowers I didn’t sent.
What to do, What to do…

Her Valentines hysteria,
drops down towards corm.
My scandalizing behavior,
rode with it’s last storm.

“Define our relationship”….She said.
And no, you cannot “Go Fish”….
Then, I’ll call what we have..”Rich”…

But next time, Don’t Forget…
Which isles are “special” and which are “Unique”, can’t screw up for the next 8 million weeks.
Don’t forget, got the point…
Playboy calendars more than just nude chicks. Bad excuse, was easier if I was rich.
But, what can you do? What can you do?
Don’t Forget…
Don’t Forget…
Don’t Forget…

© Copyright 2004 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
Snickers123
Member
since 2004-05-07
Posts 94
United States-Iowa
1 posted 2004-07-29 11:20 PM


Hey, it was pretty good, the rhyming *sp?* in some parts seemed forced but it still was good, keep writing.

~*.:Leah:.*~

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
2 posted 2004-07-29 11:28 PM


I agree with snickers. the poem was kool though. It got my litle mind working, which is difficult for sum people...~lol~

Kissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
3 posted 2004-07-29 11:38 PM


This was an interesting piece. You're style is intelligent. I like! This one is going in my library! ~Jess

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
4 posted 2004-07-30 10:42 PM


Intresting. I liked it.


Juju

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
5 posted 2004-08-02 09:36 AM


I really liked this poem alot! I'm also going to put it in my library if you don't mind!!

~Alli~

I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughter would make me cry.

Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
6 posted 2004-08-07 03:08 AM


I can learn a lot from writers like you.
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