Lights In The Eyes of The Blind

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Teen Poetry #7

Lights In The Eyes of The Blind

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-01-28 06:09 PM

Lights In The Eyes of The Blind

Sleep intrigues the minds of those
Who watch the lies of the eyes in the light.
Maybe there is never enough darkness inside
To make us wish for the coming day,
Maybe there is never enough light inside
To make us wish for the darkening gray.
Ash should blow like whirling snow
And dance upon the Sunday dresses of us all.
Maybe there is never enough religion to burn
The sins of our core that lie on our Sunday best,
Maybe there is never enough water to quench
The thirst hidden inside the mouths of the rest.
Forgotten are the nights of lost summers and
Hands held high in gleeful aqua play.
Maybe this ash that falls is snow,
Brought for us to purify our souls and minds,
Maybe the lack of color shows us that variety
Lies to the believers of the spell that unbinds.
Roads needing to be cleared, tears that need to be freed,
Truth buries itself only wishing to be found.
Maybe this all adheres the lies and the truth
To our thinking and loves lost beliefs,
Maybe this splits hairs by split decisions
And this is to be found just another motif.

now im alone, but not lonely like before

EverRuss
Member

since 2003-12-31

Posts 66
Indiana

1 posted 2004-02-01 05:19 PM

Great poem. I have no clue why no one has replied to this!? "Forgotten are the nights of lost summers"...that is my favorite line..true it is.. so many things happen in the summer

If my poems could talk they would mean more than the words

Russell

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

2 posted 2004-02-02 04:40 PM

thanks alot. i was wondering why no one had commented either.

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

3 posted 2004-02-03 01:18 PM

I like the tone that you take with this piece. Instead of using the obvious and overly used words, the boring words, I enjoyed your use of language. The word "motif" in the last line especially stuck out to me.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

4 posted 2004-02-03 03:12 PM

thank you allysa. i always appreciate your feedback. ya i really try to create ideas and images that stick out and words that aren't used that much help alot.

now im alone, but not lonely like before

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