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Teen Poetry #7
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Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A

0 posted 2004-01-26 07:17 PM



Missing You Tonight

Here I sit alone in my bed
While visions and thoughts of you danced in my head.
I’m missing you tonight
It would make me so happy just to have you in sight

I think that I’m missing your smile the most
I would do anything just to hold you close.
Being away from you for days is just too much
It’s because you have that magic touch.

The stars are in the sky
They cannot compare to the diamonds in your eye,
And the full moon is peeking out
Please give me a chance to see what true love is about.

Well my eyes are beginning to shut
So I guess I have to say Goodnight
These feelings will continue to grow like the deepest cut
As you are the one that I’m missing tonight.

© Copyright 2004 Sweetpoet16m4u04 - All Rights Reserved
peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
1 posted 2004-01-26 09:08 PM


This poem was really sweet! If you were seriously thinking of someone at the time, you should let them read this poem! Good work! ~Jess

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
2 posted 2004-01-26 09:09 PM


This poem was really sweet! If you were seriously thinking of someone at the time, you should let them read this poem! Good work! ~Jess

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

sweet_lost_palestinian1
Member
since 2004-01-08
Posts 90

3 posted 2004-01-27 12:21 PM


wow...i never knew that guyz were that sweet...lolol...im sorry no fence..well uumm this poem is oo good keep it up and  keep wrting and wrtiing i wanna read from u alwayz.
skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
4 posted 2004-01-27 01:08 PM


That's so sweet! Your poems have a lot of passion and emotion in them. Great work!!

~sky

Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know....
~Good Charlotte

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
5 posted 2004-01-28 07:22 PM


Wow, excellent poem. I can't find a thing wrong with it.
Beautiful, thank you for sharing, this is going in my library.

W.W.
We were meant to live for so much more have we lost ourselves?
Maybe redemption has stories to tell maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
6 posted 2004-01-30 10:30 PM


I really like this, the sentiments hit home at this time.
Thanks for sharing.
~Liz~

"Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake

Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A
7 posted 2004-01-31 12:28 PM


Thanks for all the wonderful comments from all of you!! I'm so glad my stuff is well liked!
blood_red_summer
Junior Member
since 2004-01-31
Posts 20

8 posted 2004-01-31 02:48 AM


i have a query... why after the first three stanza's using a ryhming scheme where each line ryhmed the one preceding it why did you switch it in the fourth?
in the fourth the ryhme went like this


sbbskdb 1
sknfdjsn 2
sklnvdlsdn 1
lsdnf 2

the numbers representing the ryhming
why would you do that
and the piece could use some work
work on your imagery
sorry if this sounds harsh, im just calling what i see

aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia
9 posted 2004-01-31 03:31 AM


this is amazing...... keep on writing coz u got real talent and if you were thinking of someone definitly give it to them to read.... it is sooooo sweet......
love the work...
Mel

this is me.... like it or not....
its who i am!
i am woman hear me roar

SweetStephanie
Junior Member
since 2003-12-29
Posts 18
Alabama,
10 posted 2004-01-31 04:43 AM


great work i love it i just read it to my b/f  and he loves it too
                     ~~~~~~Stephanie~~~~~~~

**Sweet*Stephanie**

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