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Teen Poetry #7
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RedDiamond1307
Junior Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 20


0 posted 2004-01-25 11:37 AM



We hold on to things the tightest,
when we are painfully forced to let them go-
We always want things a certain way,
when we know they can't be so.

Sweet dreams always last the longest,
when they are furthest from our reach-
And the lessons we can learn the most from,
are often the very ones we teach.

The picky grass is always the greenest,
when it's on the other side-
And the truths we preach to others,
are often by those we can't abide.

We hold fast to the thngs in a dark, rolling storm,
which are most likely to blow away-
And yet we neglect to wear sunscreen,
on a bright and sunny day.

We spend our precious time trying to see things,
when prspective is one thing we lack-
And we never appreciate what we've got,
untill we can't get it back.

We expect the whole world to give us a break,
and yet ironically we'll find-
that when others come asking the same of us,
we tell them they're out of their mind.

We tell everyone what's wrong with the world,
and we do nothing to make it right-
we complain about families falling apart,
and yet do nothing to keep them tight.

We preach about loving neighbors,
and we teach children right from wrong-
But we never set good examples for them,
when real chances come along.

We complain about not having enough time in our lives,
to do what we must do-
Yet if we were given more hours in the day,
we'd use all that up, too.

WE desire to be close to all those we love,
yet all to often lookon from afar-
And when it comes to the truth, do we want to change,
or remain forever as we are?


© Copyright 2004 RedDiamond1307 - All Rights Reserved
kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
1 posted 2004-01-26 05:18 PM


Wow, i acnt believe no one has posted any replys on this yet! This is a wonderful poem. Its sadly true. We say we want something but we dont do anything about it. We as poeple are pathetic. I hope to hear more.
~kissa~

**~kissa~**
*I wanna be a little more like me, and a little less like YOU!*~ Linkin Park

Sinjin
New Member
since 2004-01-26
Posts 2

2 posted 2004-01-26 07:26 PM


I like some parts of this poem- it is very true that it is almost human nature to be hypocritical, and some verses speak this very well.

However, some really do detract from the whole work, or don't seem to fit in with the underlying theme. Poems do not have to be a certain length just because- they also do not have to rhyme. Personally, I never do and I find it makes for better imagery because you're not limited by word choice.

This is good:

The picky grass is always the greenest,
when it's on the other side-
And the truths we preach to others,
are often by those we can't abide.

This is not:

We hold fast to the thngs in a dark, rolling storm,
which are most likely to blow away-
And yet we neglect to wear sunscreen,
on a bright and sunny day.

I think you know what I mean.



RedDiamond1307
Junior Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 20

3 posted 2004-01-28 05:30 PM


First of thank you and I can understand where u are coming from but the passages that are in there are there for a reason....if u don't understand that's ok cause not everything is meant for everyone to get.....

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