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Teen Poetry #7

Nothing I can do.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

0 posted 2004-01-22 09:06 PM

The love i have for you,
Is anything but untrue.
You were always there for me,
and for that you have
my undying gratitude.

It would be a sin to say
that i dont still have feelings for you.
but oh how i wish
those feelings would go away.
Then maybe i could get through the day,
without crying over you!

You dont realize how much you hurt me,
how your cruel words
sting worse than a bee!
Why cant you see?
Why cant you just leave me be??

You are something i want,
but dont need.
My love for you,
will never end.
Even though you make me so blue,
but theres nothing i can do!

I try so hard to get over you.
Try not to feel the way i do.
Try not to let you,
make me so blue.
But like i said,
there is nothing i can do,
for now it's up to you!
~kissa~

There are three things we will endure- Faith, Hope, and Love- and the greatest of these is Love!~
1 Corinthians 13:13

**~kissa~**
*I wanna be a little more like me, and a little less like YOU!*~ Linkin Park

Snickers123
Member

since 2004-05-07

Posts 94
United States-Iowa

1 posted 2004-07-05 09:59 PM

not bad, i can see the emotion behind it...
"You are something i want,
but dont need."
That was my favorite part. I hope to hear more from you

~*.:Leah:.*~

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2004-07-06 07:23 PM

I see emotion behind it as well, but the rhyming does sound a little forced. Also, in some parts the poem does not seem to flow.
Anyway...this is my favorite part:

"I try so hard to get over you.
Try not to feel the way i do."

Good write, can't wait to read even more!

~Alli~

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 418
Earth

3 posted 2004-07-06 07:50 PM

I CAN REALLY RELATE TO THAT SOO MUCCH,,........GOOD ,AMAZING KEEP WRIITING

Fate is what controls the world so just let it go and I PROMISE YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!

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