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Teen Poetry #7
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Cinderelly
Member
since 2001-12-31
Posts 189
NM, USA

0 posted 2004-01-22 01:18 AM


Sitting at rehearsal
staring off in to space
a dropped line here, a fumble there
(okay, maybe a few)
my mind's a million miles away.

My mind wanders off the stage
(and back into your arms)
just the thought of your blue eyes
(so so blue)
leaves me a vunerable Lady Montague.

+Okay, so this is obviously not finished . . . Just a few jotted down thoughts . . . Any suggestions would be appreciated+


Life is a moderately good play w/ a badly written thrid act. - Unknown

© Copyright 2004 Jamie - All Rights Reserved
ascending_ecstasy
Member
since 2004-01-21
Posts 102

1 posted 2004-01-22 01:22 AM


Ok well it was good for an idea. Work on it, edit where necessary. Forget structure, forget forcing the rhymes. Let it flow... all writers know, to let it flow....
muse1012007
New Member
since 2004-01-22
Posts 2

2 posted 2004-01-22 08:18 PM


I like it. I think you should just keep dowing what you started. can't wait to see the finished version.
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