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Teen Poetry #7

Mom My promises to u

sweet_lost_palestinian1
Member

since 2004-01-08

Posts 90

0 posted 2004-01-21 11:35 PM

Mom, I love you.
I grew so tall I knew it was true.

I knew your words ment like gold
So I know now I have to hold.

I have to hold my promises
And keep you flying.

I have no choose but to keep trying
Even though I have too much spying.

But I know what im paying
Im going to keep saying

I have no choice but to smile
Until I reach to a mile.

So all Im trying to say is I will never let you down.
Don’t think because im not in my town.

But I am in a place called earth
Where I could remember whats it worth?

I LOVE YOU
Even thought it’s a drawing of me and you.
………………………………………………………..

ascending_ecstasy
Member

since 2004-01-21

Posts 102

1 posted 2004-01-21 11:49 PM

That was an alright try, i know that it would be a very sentimental poem, but you must also let your words flow from within, and not force them to rhyme. Consider your structure, Don't worry about how long the lines are, just write how you think. Good try though, keep your writing up.

sweet_lost_palestinian1
Member

since 2004-01-08

Posts 90

2 posted 2004-01-22 08:52 PM

well thanks...im trying harder soo dont mind..alright..bye thanks :-]..

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