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ascending_ecstasy
Member

since 2004-01-21

Posts 102

0 posted 2004-01-21 09:39 PM

Catch my tear and I'll wake
Sit alone but I'll be there
That's what feeling crowded is
Look at my flower sitting in the bath
It weeps, and blooms my name
I smudge my letter making no mark at all
Can you feel it yet

Fall from the rafters to the roof
Feeling the summer breeze in winter above your feet
Leader sitting on the hill
Feeling rejection

I won't come to you
Force of personal choice betrays
To know you're out there is to worry
But I feel no real pain

I am not pain
It is what you prefer
I am burning
Which you cannot choose to accept.

ascending_ecstasy
Member

since 2004-01-21

Posts 102

1 posted 2004-01-21 10:03 PM

Ok well can you comment on it and tell me what you think. Think about the meaning beyond the writing and you will understand.

drummerboy678
Member

since 2003-10-28

Posts 134

2 posted 2004-01-21 10:05 PM

Wow, very nicely written. I like this one. It is surprisingly different from things you usually see on these forums.

Excellent job!

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

3 posted 2004-01-21 10:39 PM

Excellent first post. This is one of the better poems I've seen. Thanks for posting, and I look forward to reading more from you.
Jen

Also, I'm putting it in my private library if you don't mind.

Whoever said "Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" obviously never loved.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

4 posted 2004-01-21 10:46 PM

First off welcome piptalk!

This is an excellent first post. Beautifully expressed, I espcially love the 3rd stanza.
I noticed that you've been replying to other's poems, which means I like you.
Thanks for sharing.

W.W.
We were meant to live for so much more have we lost ourselves?
Maybe redemption has stories to tell maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

ascending_ecstasy
Member

since 2004-01-21

Posts 102

5 posted 2004-01-21 11:24 PM

Thankyou for all of your comments, i cherish them greatly, please keep them coming, as they are greatley appreciated.

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

6 posted 2004-01-22 12:04 PM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope you like it here as much as we're going to like reading your thoughts.

Check your e-mail for a special greeting.

Cause in my dreams it's always there
The evil face that twists my mind
And brings me to despair.

ascending_ecstasy
Member

since 2004-01-21

Posts 102

7 posted 2004-01-22 12:23 PM

I would like honest opinions though, if there's something that you feel isn't right, let me know. I am open to all suggestions and advice. Thankyou.

cool_things
New Member

since 2004-01-22

Posts 2

8 posted 2004-01-22 06:06 PM

You are great. I have been writing for over a year, and have never seen such young talent. What do you suppose you'll post next? Whatever it is, it's worth reading. Your first stanza has such imagery, so clear. Your every choice of wording is excellent, and it came from the heart. There's nothing needing editing, you have no structure, and it came from the heart. It flowed right from the heart, and it's amazing. I was taken aback with this poem, and I hope to see more. It shall go into my library, and I'm wishing I had many more of your poems to do this with. I encourage anyone who reads this to tell ascending_ecstasy what they think of her work. He/she must be convinced it is good. A writer is always down on his/her work, although, he/she did choose post it here, so maybe there is little liking to the piece? Anyway, ANYONE who reads this, MUST leave a comment. Thankyou, your work was wonderful.

Essential Distress
Junior Member

since 2004-01-22

Posts 33

9 posted 2004-01-22 06:54 PM

yeah impressive. I sorta know you and read it like 2 months ago so ive told you what i think of it.... post more! i know you have millions sittin in that hard drive o' yours...

ascending_ecstasy
Member

since 2004-01-21

Posts 102

10 posted 2004-01-22 10:15 PM

thanks for those comments. yeah, i enjoy poetry... i'm so inot it now i can't stop. i dont know about a career in writing but.. yeah maybe, i dot it for kicks. and thc 4 the comment taya. as i said... you are a sailor...you are a star...you can sing things...on guitar... ---- Entitled "Taya" lol

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