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BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

0 posted 2004-01-19 05:01 PM

hey, this is the first thing I've written in about 4 months. It's not very good, but go easy on me ok??

Flowers grow from the tears I've cried;
thorns twisting in and out.
Arctic winds blow, chilling my soul.
Frozen petals fall, the world fades away.

Lively spirit numbed by the cold, empty space;
the vast place where you used to be.
Empty cave, once full of love,
Now unable to sustain anything close to life.

Lying motionless on the floor;
Wondering where my life had gone.
Once a happy place,
But the sun no longer shines there.

Come back to me my love.
Let me feel your breath and your velvet skin.
Let me again surrender myself to you.
Come out from where I've been hiding.

See the pain in my eyes-
My heart is ready to die.
Bring me back to life,
Never say goodbye.

Whoever said "Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" obviously never loved.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

1 posted 2004-01-19 10:39 PM

This was a very beautiful poem. I liked it. I hope to hear more, keep writing, you are very talented.
~kissa~

**~kissa~**
*I wanna be a little more like me, and a little less like YOU!*~ Linkin Park

AlostHeart
Member

since 2003-05-01

Posts 78
Wisconsin, U.S.

2 posted 2004-01-20 10:11 AM

Hey you this is to good and you know you like it don't be so hard on yourself!
I luv ya!

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

3 posted 2004-01-21 10:30 AM

Great work! This sure had lots of feeling. Considering this is the first thing you've written in a few months I'm proud of ya! ~Jess

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

ascending_ecstasy
Member

since 2004-01-21

Posts 102

4 posted 2004-01-21 09:59 PM

That was good, compared to some of the writing on this forum. You have a way with imagery and describing. Keep it up..

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