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Teen Poetry #7
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young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2005-09-22 06:06 PM


Renaissance Parties (The Best Inventions Are Left To Pubescent Boys)


You're so unashamed in your
regality,
you've got pounds of camoflouge.
Us boys peek through the foliage to
see
a hand that floats on the most gentle
wires.
and what serenity jumps from your neck and
slides
to the small place in your back.
(the little things on your mind hide there)
All of us have fallen in love
for the fifth time tonight.
beauty such as this brings tears to my eyes.
i left the others in the ditch and
approached with as much splendor as
an idiot graduating from his position as fool.
i kiss your cheek and feel weight upon the corner of
my lunacy smile.
your best hiding place has been found out...
you have been my enemy all along...
and we all fell in love for the sixth time that night.
(don't you just love the forbidden fruit?)

© Copyright 2005 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved
CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248

1 posted 2005-09-23 06:04 PM


Alex man, you've done it again

your best hiding place has been found out...
you have been my enemy all along...
and we all fell in love for the sixth time that night.

I have NO clue where you come up with this stuff...I love your poetry....WoW.

I gotta go read this again

<3KerR

I might have messy hair, runny makeup and a tear-steaked face, but at least I know I have loved.

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2005-09-23 07:58 PM


this is beyond cool...


young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
3 posted 2005-09-24 02:21 AM


thanks chika, i appreciate that  you read work after work by me. susan, thank you as well. it is great to have a moderator drop in. its like a god drops a note on my doorstep. i would love to try and get some of my stuff published. what do you guys think? (especially you chika since you know my writing style)
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2005-09-24 11:21 AM


you are so silly...

I think you are very talented and should try to get published. I think you would do well. Your poems have (for lack of a better word) texture to them and allow the reader to incorporate their own emotions and memories into what you are saying.

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
5 posted 2005-09-26 10:47 PM


thanks susan

Kaos
Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317
between space and time
6 posted 2005-10-09 04:10 PM


go for the publishing thing man, you definately  have everything you need to get there... as far as my comments... everyone said it... wow

"Us boys peek through the foliage to
see
a hand that floats on the most gentle
wires.
and what serenity jumps from your neck and
slides
to the small place in your back.
(the little things on your mind hide there)
All of us have fallen in love
for the fifth time tonight."  


i loved that series of lines man...top notch

"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light"
-Dylan Thomas

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
7 posted 2005-10-10 01:31 AM


again, thanks man. your encouragement is awesome.
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