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Teen Poetry #7
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Naked Truth
Junior Member
since 2003-12-28
Posts 11
Det, Mi.

0 posted 2004-01-13 05:11 PM



living
am i dying or have i gave up trying
am i living what we call a life
or am i living death
am i here, do you know?
can you see me?
does my beatuy appeal to deceat the eye
or recreate the mind
can you see right through me
can you touch me?
can you catch me
to sat me down and caress my living dying heart
can you hear me?
so close to the core i could fall. without the sound of my call
how do you know i need help.
can you taste me?
sweet or sour, do you like me am i the taste "once you pop you just cant stop"or do you pop me and then put the top on.
can you feel me?
my breath on ur neck or the pounding of my heart
my love
my obedience
my respect
my dedication
my everything
which is dying, frying, deteriorating away
fighting for my life
fighting to live
fighting to die
fighting for everything to be everything again
can you feel me living for that
if so...

why does it feel like im dying for it?

© Copyright 2004 ~Kay - All Rights Reserved
young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
1 posted 2004-01-13 05:16 PM


can you see me?
does my beatuy appeal to deceat the eye
or recreate the mind
i dont understand this part. it was good as a whole. the meaning was good. i think of that stuff alot. oh, try to take out frying and replace it with another word. frying just sounds kinda strange. reminds me of sci-fi.
-alex

now im alone, but not lonely like before

lilibeelee
Member
since 2001-07-12
Posts 143

2 posted 2004-01-14 11:41 PM


Liked this.
candi
New Member
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2

3 posted 2004-01-15 11:23 AM


good poem liked it

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