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Teen Poetry #7
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dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258


0 posted 2004-01-11 11:18 AM


I glance at you,
You glance at me
I wonder,
will we ever be?
You taunt me with,
Your cute little grin.
I know my heart,
can never win.
You see me,
But you really don’t
I want to talk,
But I know I won’t.
You’re too much,
Of what I don’t need.

© Copyright 2004 samantha rae - All Rights Reserved
Snickers123
Member
since 2004-05-07
Posts 94
United States-Iowa
1 posted 2004-06-30 10:34 PM


Hey, it wasnt bad, my advice would be to add on too it, it didnt seem like it was finished, keep it up.

~*.:Leah:.*~

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418
Earth
2 posted 2004-06-30 10:39 PM


its pretty good ,i agree with  snickers ,if only u would add alittle more it would be soo cute,,

love and respect

Fate is what controls the world so just let it go and I PROMISE YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!

blackandwhitehorizon
Member
since 2003-05-05
Posts 183
an akward state of mind
3 posted 2004-07-01 02:35 AM


aw it was really cute, and i love the ending, that made it awesome and a little different.
fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
4 posted 2004-07-01 02:44 AM


hey this is kinda cool, overly rhymey...but it works well.  i liked the ending as well. it takes a smart person to realize that someone they may like is bad for them.  nice post.
bergundy

"Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man)

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
5 posted 2004-07-01 05:33 PM


This poem is soooo cute...I loved it.  I also think that you should add onto it and make it longer, but overall nice job.

~Alli~

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

6 posted 2004-07-01 06:46 PM


hey
i really appreciate all the advice and everyone taking time to read my poem!
   ~sam~


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